


Let Slip the Ninken of War

by BC_Brynn



Series: Trust Your Nose [13]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Communication Failure, Exasperated!Naruto, Families of Choice, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Iruka on the Warpath, Kage Bunshin | Shadow Clones, Misunderstandings, Ninken to the Rescue, No They Are Not Inconspicuous, Pack, Socially Handicapped!Kakashi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-18 08:35:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21941245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BC_Brynn/pseuds/BC_Brynn
Summary: Naruto knows more than Iruka expected, Iruka brings up something he shouldn’t, and shocked reactions result in hurt feelings.Kakashi fails at something.In this Pack, sometimes the ninken have to teach the humans how to talk.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka, Umino Iruka & Uzumaki Naruto, one-sided Haku/Uzumaki Naruto
Series: Trust Your Nose [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/620383
Comments: 87
Kudos: 594





	1. Once Bitten

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this took me a lot longer than I expected, but here it is. Finally.
> 
> (Happy holidays!)
> 
> The idea for this cracky interlude predates _Old Dog’s Tricks, Cave Canem, Older Brothers, Fly on the Wall, Keep the Wolves from the Gates, Pack Pups, A Hunt’s Faith_ and _As the Crow Flies_ , but it had to wait until the time was right for it. I played around with the timeline and ended up transplanting bits and pieces. I hope the final product makes sense.
> 
> I am a little mad at myself. This was supposed to be light fun. And it’s not. Sorry.
> 
> About that one relationship tag – I wavered a lot on whether or not to put it there, but it became one of the major plot points of this installment, and also mostly the reason why there’s more drama and angst than humour, so I ended up leaving it there. Haku is dead. This is all just romanticised regret. I’m sorry for being an awful person (but not sorry enough to stop being awful).
> 
> (detailed warnings are, as usual, in the end note)

“So,” Iruka said once the time was right (they were sitting at the Ichiraku’s counter, relaxed, and Naruto’s mouth was full of birthday ramen), “what is this I hear about you and Gaara-kun?”

Naruto, sadly, didn’t react as expected. He didn’t spray his food or choke. He didn’t even blush. He only paused in sucking up the noodles and, with the waterfall of pasta tentacles hanging from his mouth blinked at Iruka. His eyes were radiant with innocent incomprehension.

Iruka for the life of him wasn’t sure if that was a masterful mask, or if Naruto genuinely was that oblivious. He couldn’t be, could he? Not the boy that traded filthy quips with Anko?

No, Iruka was not going to let the evidence of his eyes fool him this time.

“Gaara?” Naruto said after he sucked up the noodles with a slurping noise. “Oh, makes sense that you would know about him being here. He’s had it real rough, though – did you know he didn’t sleep for thirteen years? Can you imagine not sleeping that long?”

Iruka shook his head. “No. People can’t survive for much longer than thirty days without sleep. Not even ninja.” Tsunade-sama had written a treatise on the topic once, citing the importance of downtime and backup for ninja taking extended missions. There was a wealth of empirical data supporting her conclusions, and Iruka emphatically didn’t want to know any details about her methods of research.

“Huh,” Naruto mused. “Guess that’s another thing the bijuu did for him. I’m trying to teach Gaara about friendship. Can you believe he’s never had any friends?”

Iruka could. Sadly. It hadn’t been that long since Naruto himself hadn’t had any _human_ friends. And now he felt guilty for trying to tease Naruto about spending nearly all his free time with Gaara-kun, when it was obvious that Naruto wasn’t in the throes of a crush – he was saving the life of someone who reminded him of himself.

On the other hand, Naruto was fourteen now. Surely he must have had a crush? Or at least a passing interest in someone? But he had never mentioned anyone.

Iruka suspected the curiosity might eat him alive.

“If not Gaara-kun, then whom do you like?”

Naruto shrugged, switched his empty bowl for the next one Teuchi-san had prepared for him, and stirred the ramen with his chopsticks. “Dunno. I like lotsa people, but nobody like that. Eh, Kana-san said I’ll know it when I feel it, so I guess I just gotta wait for it to come.” With that sage proclamation he filled his mouth and sucked up more noodles.

Iruka suddenly recalled that time when Naruto had been given his old photo and confronted him about it. Naruto claimed Iruka’s younger self was ‘pretty’, but ‘not as pretty as Haku’. Iruka only remembered the name because in the first instance he had thought he was being compared to the puppy. He didn’t know any other Haku.

But Naruto must have known another Haku. And whoever they were, they were apparently very ‘pretty’.

“Waiting for _Haku_ , perhaps?” he ventured.

At first Naruto seemed just confused – obviously thinking of the puppy – and then… then he smiled widely and insincerely. “Ne, nii-chan, don’t-!”

“Heh, Naruto, it’s my right as your older brother to tease you-”

“Go on and I’ll pull out the _years_ of blackmail I’ve got on you and Kakashi-taichou.” Something in Naruto’s expression hardened unpleasantly.

“K-Kak-kashi…” Iruka felt like he was looking at a stranger. A stranger that had no business knowing the things about him that he apparently knew. How? Certainly Kakashi wouldn’t have told him? “Narut-to? How did you…? When did you…?”

“When did I what?”

“When- How did you know?”

“About what?”

“Me and…”

Naruto’s eyebrows climbed up all the way to his hitai-ate. “C’mon, Iruka-nii! If you didn’t want me to know, you two should stop doing the nasty and coming to work smelling of each other. Did you wear his clothes, too? Ugh, my poor nose…” He pinched his nose with one hand and waved the other one in front of his face, as if he was trying to clear the air of an unpleasant stink.

For the record, Iruka had showered after his training, and came to dinner squeaky clean. All articles of clothing on his person were his own _and_ had been taken fresh from the closet (or from the laundered pile in the case of his underwear).

He couldn’t believe this was happening. He and Kakashi did not usually wear one another’s clothes, but it had been known to occasionally happen. Laundry got mixed up. And perhaps some mornings Iruka ran late and skipped the shower in between falling out of bed, dragging on his uniform and legging it to the Academy, to make sure he was there before the students began to arrive.

That was nothing to say of those mornings when he was pulled right back into the bed. And _made_ late.

Iruka liked to think of himself as a professional, conscientious and _punctual_ shinobi (as opposed to _some_ ), but the truth was a little less perfect. He never got into trouble, because he essentially worked two and half jobs (when he wasn’t working _four_ ), and everyone cut him a little slack.

His boyfriend was aware of this caveat, and abused it shamelessly.

“B-but…” Iruka thought back to his first day teaching at the Academy – when he was _eighteen_. And already being regularly and happily despoiled. “…that’s nothing new.”

“ _Che_.” Naruto rolled his eyes. “I’ve _always_ known.”

Iruka’s breath hitched. “Always…?”

“ _Always_ ,” Naruto confirmed with terrible finality.

Iruka gaped at him for a prolonged moment, then recovered his jaw from the ground and let his forehead thunk onto the counter. Naruto had _always_ known. All these years Iruka had thought they were being so subtle, _insisted_ on keeping complete secrecy, and all of it was for naught.

He felt sick with guilt. Kakashi had been so horribly understanding, agreeing to pretty much all Iruka’s conditions, nodding at his explanations like they made perfect sense – and they did! Iruka genuinely never was ashamed of Kakashi! – and never raising a single word of opposition.

“Are you crying?” Naruto asked.

Iruka shivered. What else did Naruto know about his life? And whom else had he told?

“Don’t cry!” Naruto insisted, awkwardly patting his shoulder. “Oi, Iruka-nii! I don’t mind being extended family with the pervert _that much_! Besides, he doesn’t even really get off on those books – I’d know. Trust the nose-”

“Na-ru-to!” Iruka pressed through clenched teeth.

“There, there,” Naruto said placatingly.

Iruka rolled his eyes and sat up straight. He would have to talk with Kakashi about this, and he didn’t look forward to it at all, because _seriously_ talking to Kakashi was an A-rank mission in itself, and usually ended in tears regardless of topic. Mild bodily harm was to be expected as well.

“Naruto… how long have you known?”

Naruto rolled his eyes. “Nii-chan, you were with him since _before I knew you_. I keep telling you: I’ve _always_ known.”

Iruka sighed. Somehow, he was sure, this was all his fault. Only, he couldn’t really see how, since no one had been aware of Naruto’s preternatural nose. Well, Kakashi would surely explain to him how it was his fault later tonight.

He sighed again, glumly poked his chopsticks into the depths of his half-eaten ramen, and scowled at the single naruto floating on the surface.

“Oi!” Naruto poked his own chopsticks into Iruka’s shoulder. “It’s not like I’ve blabbed to the entire village! I haven’t told anyone! And if you think I did, you can just… you can just…”

Iruka looked up right in time to see Naruto’s face completely close up.

“Naruto…” He didn’t mean to imply that he didn’t trust Naruto. Honestly, he wouldn’t have expected a child like Naruto had been four years ago to understand the need for discretion, much less to be able to keep a secret of such magnitude… too bad it took Iruka until now to recall that Naruto had even then been keeping secrets of a much greater magnitude (aside of the more serious ones, him being the Phantom of Konoha came to mind).

Naruto’s mouth stretched in a smile so fake that it pierced straight through Iruka’s heart.

“Teuchi-jii-san!” the boy called out, pulling a bunch of notes out of his pocket and slamming them onto the counter. “Cancel the rest of my order! This is for me and Iruka both, _dattebayo_!

He was grinning so widely that if Iruka hadn’t seen the smile before, he would have been fooled into thinking that Naruto was happy. And – why in kami-sama’s name was Naruto trying to pay? Iruka had invited him, as a belated birthday present. And-

Iruka reached out to catch Naruto’s shoulder and opened his mouth to tell him to wait, but it was too late. While he had struggled against the shock, Naruto had substituted himself with a clone; the clone now dispersed in a puff of smoke, and Iruka was left sitting at the Ichiraku’s counter alone, staring blankly into the muddy depths of a half-empty ramen bowl.

“What’s gotten into that boy?” Ichiraku-san wondered, shaking his head and counting the money Naruto had left. “Didn’t even wait for his change.”

He gave Iruka an expectant look, but Iruka didn’t have a clue what to say. His thoughts were all jumbled – a nonsensical mixture of surprise, worry, disbelief and guilt – and he felt like he had spent all those years around Naruto seeing only some kind of a skin-deep mask, never really getting to know him.

Which was a load of bullcrap.

He poked at the cooling noodles once again and blinked away the wetness in his eyes. Stupid. It wasn’t as if something like that could make him care for his little brother any less.

x

Naruto hadn’t meant to disconcert Iruka – he had only wanted to redirect the topic of conversation away from Haku. He didn’t feel like talking about Haku.

It wasn’t anything he could explain. Haku was – had been – no, _was_ , there, still alive in Naruto’s memory – in his _heart_ – never forgotten, but Naruto knew that if he tried to explain, every single word he said would have fallen flat. How did you even explain something like that to someone who hadn’t been there?

So maybe he had panicked a little, and maybe he had been too ham-handed (ham- _mouthed_!) in changing the topic, but he had thought the new subject was safe enough…? Wait, had Iruka seriously thought Naruto _didn’t know_ about him and Dog-taichou? Hooow…? Naruto wasn’t hiding that he knew. They were _so obvious_! Didn’t _everybody_ know?

Genma knew. Nishi-sensei knew. Anko-nee _totally_ knew. Maybe someone like, say, _Sakura_ might have missed it, but honestly!

After they were _being the Hokage_ together? ‘cause no matter what Kakashi said, he so would have crashed and burned without nii-chan keeping him afloat with all his teacher-y omniscience.

So much for Iruka knowing everything, though. Honestly? _Honestly_?

Nah, this had to be a hoax. Maybe Iruka was playing it up to put some distance between him and Naruto so the people who wanted to hurt him would leave Naruto alone? If so, then it was just _stupid_! Everybody and their summons knew that Iruka and Naruto were close – even if they had staged a huge blowing-up-buildings fight in the middle of the village, no one would buy that they stopped caring about one another.

Naruto punched his pillow and then growled into it.

This was a huge pool of stinking cat pee. _On fire_.

He was going to figure this out, and then he was going to have another sit-down meal with Iruka, ideally at a place where they could talk. Maybe he’d cook something and invite Iruka over here. In a few days, though – it hadn’t been a good idea to do anything so soon after the Kyuubi Festival.

Iruka-sensei was always off around Naruto’s birthday, because it was also the anniversary of his parents’ death. Naruto had never pushed it. He didn’t celebrate for more than one reason.

This year he had enjoyed the Festival for the first time ever, because he had gone as Naruko, and nobody recognised him. Nobody threw anything at him. The girls – ladies, really, but they preferred _girls_ – from the teahouse had watched the fireworks together, and it had been nice.

Naruto guessed Iruka probably thought he was failing his big brother duties, and that was why he invited Naruto out for all-you-can-eat at the Ichiraku’s. And framed it as a birthday present.

But it had felt iffy right from the start, and then it had gone all bad.

And Naruto wondered if, the next time they met, there would be no familial suffixes anymore.

x

Iruka was certain that if anything could have ever broken him-and-Kakashi, it would have been Naruto.

Years ago, before he had even become Iruka’s student, Uzumaki Naruto had haunted him like a demonic reminder of his losses. Iruka hadn’t actually believed that the child was the demon, but the little creature had ever elicited a visceral negative reaction in him. It evoked a stabbing pain in Iruka’s chest at every sighting, and it was so, so easy to hate something that constantly kept causing you pain.

In hindsight, Iruka could see that the feeling had been mutual – even if to Naruto Iruka had merely been one person in the midst of a hateful mass.

Now, older and wiser, Iruka was deeply grateful to Kakashi for his rigid, un-budging stance on the point of the _jinchuuriki_. If not for Kakashi’s steadfast refusal to treat the lonely innocent child as anything but a lonely innocent child, Iruka might have lost his little brother before he had ever found him.

It had hurt at the time, of course. Iruka had felt like Kakashi was dismissing his very real pain, like he had somehow been second in Kakashi’s regard, thrown over for ‘the Kyuubi brat’.

Kakashi surreptitiously glanced at Iruka out of the corner of his eye for the third time over the course of a single cup of tea.

Iruka accepted that it was too late to try and pretend that nothing was bothering him. “Do you mind that we’re not… public?”

“Where did that come from?” Of course Kakashi would not have committed to a decisive answer unless and until he had to.

“Naruto knows about us,” Iruka explained.

Kakashi habitually underreacted, but it was still obvious that this information was not news to him. “I don’t think that’s a new development.” He finished his tea and set the cup onto the tray with a clack.

“Apparently, he’s known since before you two have officially met,” Iruka pointed out, trying for dryness and missing.

Kakashi shrugged. “That explains a few things, in hindsight.”

Iruka briefly considered being angry at what looked like a dismissal of his concerns, but he was aware that Kakashi was actually watching him and waiting for _Iruka’s_ reaction.

Then he sighed.

“Is this a problem?” Kakashi asked.

Iruka downed the last cup of tea like a shot. Sadly, it didn’t seem to be helping him regain his equilibrium. “I don’t know. He just came out and talked about it like it was an obvious thing, and I panicked. And then I started thinking about why I panicked. It’s not fair – to you.” He rose and took the whole tray to the sink.

“It made sense to keep it quiet while I was in ANBU,” Kakashi noted. “Then – just a habit.”

“A habit?” Iruka repeated, a little curious and a little dismayed. They should have talked about this sooner. Why hadn’t they?

“Maa… you wanna go public, sensei? Holding hands while walking down the streets and sneaking kisses under sakura trees? Demonstrating the birds and the bees to your pipsqueak students?”

Flushed, Iruka spun to confront Kakashi, only to be brought short when he found the man crouched on top of the kitchen counter, mask down, _hitai-ate_ up and looking back at Iruka with both eyes. His expression was serene. He looked like a man that had his life figured out – and was waiting for Iruka to catch up once again.

Iruka hunched his shoulders, embarrassed. He was _forever_ catching up – Kakashi had a five-year head-start and, try as Iruka might, he would never really erase that.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered.

Kakashi philosophically shrugged and hopped off his perch, landing lightly like a ghost and pressing a lightning-fast kiss to Iruka’s forehead. There was just enough patronisation in it to make Iruka swat at him – not that he had a chance for the strike to connect unless Kakashi felt like letting him.

Kakashi did.

x

“Good morning, Naruto-san,” said Neji, and added a little bow-like dip.

Naruto swallowed a snort and grinned widely. “Hi, Neji! How are you? How’s Hinata? Oh, and, how are you-and-Hinata – you know what I mean? ‘cause we haven’d had a chance to talk since I came back from my mission!”

One of Naruto’s clones dispelled to let him know that Anko-nee arrived and joined Genma at the blackberry bush beneath the trees _behind Naruto’s back_. Usually he didn’t waste a clone on info about other ninja’s movements within Konoha, but Anko-nee was a special case.

You _always_ wanted to know when she was around. And you _especially_ wanted to know if she didn’t loudly announce her presence.

“I am well, and so is Hinata-sama,” Neji answered while Naruto was assimilating the clone’s memory. “She is far too forgiving, but I am determined to deserve her graciousness.”

Naruto smiled, a little stunned by this complete stranger he was meeting. “That’s so good! I’m real glad for you both!”

When he had kicked Neji’s arse in the Chuunin Exams, he knew he was basically attacking a bunch of Clan bullshit – just like with _the Lamppost_ , the actual person was all mangled and weirdly stretched and bunched up by all those rules and expectations and pressure and plain _crap_.

Maybe Neji didn’t have people’s heads up his butt, but he definitely had somebody’s something somewhere (Naruto kinda thought maybe fingers around his throat, or the tip of a kunai touching one of those pupil-less eyes). It wasn’t an excuse for what he did to Hinata, not if you thought of it in terms of people-actions, but… Kana-san once told Naruto a story about a wolf whose leg was caught in a bear trap. The wolf attacked everything that came near her, mad with pain and fear.

And Naruto sort-of understood that once there was too much pain and fear, people became beasts.

Like Gaara. Like Sasuke. Like Naruto himself almost did – would have, if not for his Pack.

Something hissed.

Naruto glanced down just before the snake wound herself around his ankle. She’d have climbed up his leg, no problem, but he still bent down to let her transfer to his hand. She coiled herself around his wrist and let out a happy ‘sssss’ when he lifted her.

She glittered in sunlight like a bracelet set with precious stones. So _fancy_. The girls from the teahouse would be so jealous!

“Is that… Shikake-san?” asked Neji.

“You know Shikake-chan? Isn’t she great? And sooo pretty!”

She preened while Naruto praised her and Neji stared (it was hard to tell for sure, but he was probably admiring her, too).

“If I was a girl, I would totally carry her instead of jewelry.” Maybe he could try that, on one of his outings as Naruko. “I don’t get why Anko-nee doesn’t – okay, I do, ‘cause people get sorta freaked out about snakes and she doesn’t need that. But it doesn’t freak you out, right?”

“I have known Anko-sensei for some time,” Neji replied without answering.

“Mhm, I’ve heard she’s teaching you. That’s so cool!” People were bastards, and barely anyone knew what a great teacher Anko-nee was. She had taught Naruto a bunch of stuff, and then she asked her friend Cat-san to teach him some more (it hurt the canine part of Naruto to learn from a feline-themed ninja, but Yuugao-san was more than cool enough to make it worth it).

“I am very appreciative,” Neji said, and this time there was a bit of emotion in his voice, like he wanted Naruto to know that he _really_ meant it.

Naruto smiled at him. “Cool of you, too.” Before, he had no idea who Neji-the-person was under his Clan bullshit; he liked what he was seeing now. Maybe they could be friends!

Neji’s forehead scrunched up. “…how?”

Naruto shrugged. He probably shouldn’t talk about this, but Neji had to know before he was attacked for being close to Anko-nee by some idiots. Besides, if nee-san didn’t want Naruto to say anything, Shikake-chan would have nipped him by now. “Lotsa people are dicks to Anko-nee ‘cause of the stuff her sensei did, a while ago. They don’t care that she didn’t even have anything to do with it. He’s gone, and she was his student, so they kinda let all that hatred fall onto her… I think it’s very brave of you to face that sort of hatred by her side.” Even though he was sucked into the situation without any clue of what he’d probably face.

On the other hand, it wasn’t like this guy wasn’t used to people being total buttholes.

“There is a lot of hatred in the world,” Neji said. “I have yet to see it accomplish anything.” He didn’t seem to be changing his mind about Anko-nee, so Naruto squietly sighed in relief. Dodged a kunai there.

Naruto could hardly believe that this was the same guy he had defeated in the Chuunin Exams. He had heard – from Hinata, and from Anko-nee too – that he had changed. A lot. But this new version of Neji was someone Naruto was interested in listening to, and he didn’t often find people like that.

“Spar?” Naruto suggested. He grinned, meeting Neji’s weird eyes and trying to hold the contact. It wasn’t exactly easy.

The corners around Neji’s eyes crinkled, not like he had activated the Byakugan, but like his face tried out the novel smiling thing. “It would be my pleasure.”

x

Unpracticed as Iruka was at establishing friendships, there were some general steps one could take that were difficult to muck up. And since Lynx-san started off their personal acquaintance by treating Iruka to ramen, Iruka felt safe in offering to treat the man to a meal of his choice in turn.

That was how they ended up taking lunch together at a hole-in-the-wall sushi place.

Lynx-san and Anko were the only of Iruka’s guards who ever consented to eat with him, and even they only ever did it while they were not on shift. Iruka’s current guard was hiding somewhere… in the rafters. They would trade off with Lynx-san at two, but Iruka pretended not to know that.

“I’m glad it was you yesterday,” Iruka said into the quiet after their meal was eaten.

Lynx-san shifted uncomfortably, and stared at Iruka through his (apparently illusiory, since he could eat with no problems) mask. “Um… thank you?”

Iruka cringed. Right, that had been clear as mud. But, how to explain what he meant? “I just… these moments are private. Should be private. I hate having witnesses to it. And I try to ignore it – Anko-san said I should try to ignore it – but I can’t, and…” Iruka had, actually, in all honesty, momentarily forgotten that there was an ANBU listening to his conversation with Naruto, but the memory lapse hadn’t lasted long. “But if there had to be somebody, I’m glad it was you.”

“Iruka-san… none of us would share anything that we might inadvertently learn-”

“You mean it doesn’t go on report somewhere?”

“No!” Lynx-san gesticulated wildly, so appalled by the suggestion that he struck one of the empty trays with his elbow, and it was only his and Iruka’s shinobi speed that saved the earthenware from shattering on the floor.

Lynx-san and Iruka replaced all the dishes on the counter and made a futile effort to wipe off the strings of sauce that had splattered their sleeves. They even chuckled for a moment, before a frowning proprietress came by to collect their trays and prevent another accident.

The somber mood quickly returned.

Lynx-san reached out and touched a fold of Iruka’s sleeve. “Iruka-san, I… I would… I _did_ report that you met with Uzumaki-san and ate together at Ichiraku Ramen. That is the full extent. This information may become relevant in case we discover some form of surveillance on you, or in search for patterns if a threat appears…” It was obvious he was trying to convince Iruka while at the same time skirting the line of operational security.

Iruka tried to smile, honestly grateful but not feeling any mirth. “Thank you for that. I hate that I don’t have privacy anymore, but Naruto… none of this should ever touch him.”

Lynx-san flinched.

Iruka narrowed his eyes. He was fairly certain that Kakashi would not remain friends with anyone who hated Naruto, but-

“Uzumaki-san has his own set of troubles,” Lynx-san said, voice heavy with sympathy.

Iruka deflated. He should have known better. “I wish there was something I could do to help. But he’s so self-sufficient and so… defensive.” It made perfect sense that Naruto was like that, of course, given what his childhood must have been like. But Iruka still wished that he could find a way of bridging the distance between them, of making their brotherhood _real_. He already loved Naruto like his little brother – had for months, if not years – but he knew that Naruto was mostly humouring him by calling him ‘nii-chan’.

_Mostly_. There was definitely a wary hope somewhere in there, which Iruka wanted to protect and nurture and see grow into true confidence.

Lynx-san laughed near-soundlessly. “ _Self-sufficient and defensive_? That does ring a bell.”

It took Iruka a moment before he understood the implication, because the notion was just so absurd. Naruto was as far from Kakashi’s second coming as you could conceivably get!

Except that, as Iruka tried to formulate a solid counterargument, he found all half-formed protestations falling apart. He could speak of positive attitude, prankster spirit and sociability until he was blue in the face – the fact remained that Naruto trusted no one except his hunt.

He opened his mouth to mention that, as opposed to teenage Kakashi, Naruto understood the mutability of rules, but what he said instead was: “How did you deal with him?”

Lynx-san shrugged. “How did _you_?”


	2. Twice Shy

“I’ve got to go,” Yuugao-san announced when Naruto and Neji took a little break from sparring.

“Thanks for coming, Yuugao-sensei!” Naruto called out, and waved – using the hand with the neko-te, which made the kunoichi chuckle. She waved back and set out.

Genma shoved Anko-nee off himself – not, like, hard, just like it was a game. Anko let herself fall over onto her back and laughed, while Genma climbed to his feet and ambled closer. Naruto didn’t think the day was hot enough for Genma to be so flushed, so Anko-nee must have been saying _interesting_ stuff to him.

“That’s unorthodox,” Genma noted, pointing at Naruto’s clawed hand. He wasn’t surprised, since he’d seen Naruto use neko-te in battle before, but that was _in battle_ , and they hadn’t actually been on friendly terms then, so he didn’t ask.

Naruto grinned. If he got a free bowl of ramen every time somebody said that to him-

Genma rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, _Uzumaki_. Par for course. How did you even get the idea?”

“I would be interested in that as well,” added Neji. He had a few scratches from the beginning of the spar, before Naruto cajoled Genma into lending Neji an armguard – which Neji was unfastening at the moment.

“Anko-nee got it for me,” Naruto said, grinning. “It was a promotion gift.”

They both turned to the still chuckling tokujou still sprawled in the shadow.

“Yeah, I thought you’d want a proper blade, pipsqueak. Don’t fall for that innocent face – Naru-chan picked that for _himself_ when I gave _him_ free reign.”

Naruto wanted to hug Anko-nee for keeping the male pronouns there, even though she emphasised them suspiciously. He liked both Neji and Genma, but they weren’t close enough. Naruko was private, and he didn’t want to talk about that part of his life. Not yet, at least.

Yuugao-san had promised not to spread the information either.

Genma chewed on his senbon for a moment, and then asked: “Would you like a right-hand set, too?”

Naruto shook his head. “I’ve got one-” He had had it commissioned as Naruko. “-but can’t use the two at the same time. It interferes with grip, and with hand seals, and anyway I need one hand available. Found that out the hard way.” He had very nearly put out an eye. If it weren’t for the Kyuubi, he might have lost it. “Besides, have you tried putting this on when you’ve got one on the other hand?”

“How did you do it?” wondered Neji.

“Shadow clone.” Naruto raised his right hand in a one-handed seal-

Thank you, Haku, he thought, for teaching me about that.

-and formed a Kage Bunshin by his side. Another clone, with free hands, shunshined in from where it was keeping an eye on Anko-nee. That one would probably have _interesting_ memories to share once it was popped.

“It’s okay for them to go two-handed; they pop all the time anyway. So, I make one, it puts both sets on me, then I make more clones – very carefully, because making seals with this on can get painful – and then the first clone takes one of mine off. It’s only a problem if the one with free hands gets popped before it frees _my_ hand, ‘cause then we all just stand around like a bunch of stupid cat-mutants and nobody can do anything.”

Once outfitted, the first clone made cat-like pawing motions.

Naruto had a good reason for _not_ inviting his huntmates to these training sessions, no matter how much Anko-nee missed Annai.

“That is…” Genma shook his head.

“Intimidating,” Neji filled in. He turned to Genma with the forearm protector held formally in both hands, and bowed slightly. “Thank you for the lend, Genma-san.”

Genma took it back. “Sure thing, Neji-kun.”

“You good to train with me now?” asked Anko.

“Yes,” Neji assured her. “Naruto-san and I focused on technique rather than damage-”

“Yeah, I’ve seen that. Good boys, _restraining yourself_.” She reached out to ruffle Neji’s hair like a dog’s, and cackled when he body-flickered out of her reach.

x

Finding Naruto wasn’t difficult at all, but instead of approaching him Iruka lingered on the edges of the training ground, watched the odd group of people in its middle, and hoped that Lynx-san wasn’t judging him too hard.

Anko he had expected. Her friend was less expected, but he was glad to see Naruto expanding his social circle, even if the people he found were mismatched both generationally and rank-wise.

Genma-san, though – that was a surprise. Kakashi had been so disappointed by the utter lack of connection between Genma-san and Naruto in the wake of their mission that he had _mentioned_ it. To see the two spending their free time together, affably… well, for once Iruka would be the one coming home with the interesting news.

He watched the spar between Naruto and… was that _Hyuuga-kun_? Wait – were _this_ the consequences to the _ramen dragon_ story? Hyuuga-kun? Since when was Hyuuga-kun Anko’s protégé?

Huh, it seemed that Iruka had missed quite a few developments while he was busy administering the village and dodging assassins. Still, there was something odd about that spar. Something that didn’t fit.

A creak of a branch was all that warned Iruka that he had company.

“Lurking, doggy-treat?” asked Anko’s voice a moment before she – or, rather, her shadow clone – landed on the ground next to Iruka. “Don’t be shy. Come on in and join us.”

“I don’t… I was just… looking for Naruto.”

“Who isn’t, these days? He’s becoming _popular_.”

Iruka frowned at her discontented tone. He knew Anko better than to suspect her of jealousy, so he didn’t understand where that unhappiness was coming from. “Is that a bad thing?”

She shrugged. “Checks and balances, ‘ruka-kun. Just like with you. Nobody can disappear you, but everybody knows who you are. Easy target and difficult target at the same time. But definitely a target.”

Iruka looked over to the centre of the training ground, where the spar had just ended, Anko’s purple-haired friend was leaving, and Genma-san approached the boys. “Naruto’s always been a target. And he’ll always be.” Iruka was not going to close his eyes to the reality, no matter how much he wished there was a way to spare his little brother the strife.

Anko’s clone sighed. “In my experience, it’s always better when you have people on your side. And Naru-chan is smart enough to pick the right people. Look at the collection he’s already got.”

She was happy for Naruto. She was just worried as well. Iruka understood.

He was worried, too. And that reminded him that he had come here to speak with Naruto. “Are you finished?”

“Naruto’s got plans with Genma.” She gave Iruka a grave look. “Unless you’ve got something urgent-” She gestured at the hiding place Iruka picked to _lurk_ to suggest that whatever his concern was, it couldn’t be all that urgent. “-let them talk. They both need it.”

Iruka rubbed his temple. “Right. I… right.” Talking about what Naruto had known _for years_ and _how_ wasn’t _urgent_. Even if it felt like there was a fire lit under Iruka’s hindquarters.

He was about to take his leave when he heard the tail end of the conversation in the training field. He rounded on his companion. “What are you doing with that boy, Anko-san?”

“Teaching.” Anko crossed her arms in front of her chest and narrowed her eyes, like she was daring Iruka to argue. There was a tiny snake peeking out of her sleeve; it stared at Iruka like it, too, was daring him to say something derogatory.

Iruka hadn’t meant it like that. He had absolutely no doubts about Anko’s intentions or integrity. But… “Why?”

“Because no one else was doing it,” she said with a sneer, “and that’s a fucking crime. Eyes aside, he’s got talent leaking out of his ears. His cousin pointed it out to me.”

“Well, Neji-kun is somewhat known as a genius-”

“Not that. You trip over a genius with every other step in this village. The _self-taught_ part.”

“…oh. I see.” And he did.

“Exactly,” the Kage Bunshin confirmed with a roll of her eyes. She relaxed her stance. The snake disappeared inside her coat again. “Look, I just started, but I can have that boy up to ANBU standards in six months. And he needs it like breathing. No, not ANBU _specifically_ , don’t make that face. He needs someone to pay a little fucking attention to him, okay? Just to talk to him like he’s a person and give him something to work toward and tell him that his effort is worth it.” She shuffled her feet. “And I… I can do that. Be that. For him.”

Iruka could see very well. He hadn’t been acquainted with Anko during her darkest years, but Kakashi had been. And there was a bond there – something like a pain shared, and maybe some hands-up offered at the critical moment to someone who desperately needed it.

He didn’t pry. He had all the insight he could want, anyway. If Anko felt like she needed to offer a hands-up to a boy who obviously needed to be offered it, Iruka was all for them helping one another.

“I am glad. My concern was that, in the teachers’ circle, we don’t poach. We _consult_.”

“Oh, yeah, that.” She scratched at the back of her neck. “Gai said that. Or something like that. I remember a lot more exclamation points.”

Well, yes. That did sound like Gai-san.

Anko slugged Iruka’s shoulder. “Come on, spar with me. You’ll feel better, and the rest of the ANBU will thank me for preventing another Rainbow Calamity. I won’t even try to break you, to save Lynx the heart-attack.”

Iruka sighed and nodded. He could take on Anko’s shadow clone. Probably. Maybe. “Please, go easy on me?”

x

Naruto never had any human guests, so he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. Genma didn’t get mad, though; he asked first to use the bathroom, and then for something to drink, which sort of gave Naruto a template to work with.

“Is that…?” Genma paused. “Oh.”

Naruto looked up from where he was kneeling on the floor. Genma was staring with a weird expression at the super-old box Naruto had just unsealed. It probably wasn’t because of the little frog stickers fastening the lid to the body of the crate. They were really cute.

He had worked hard at unsticking them without ripping them up when he first looked in, less than a week ago.

Naruto gave Genma an uncertain smile. He had no reason to apologise, but there was a ‘sorry’ in that smile, too. _Sorry for your loss_ , maybe. For _our_ loss, technically, but it was kinda realer for senbon guy.

So, this wasn’t exactly a great topic, when Genma was already in a weird mood. Naruto hadn’t really noticed earlier, ‘cause Anko-nee was super-good at distracting them both, and for a while during training Genma managed to forget whatever was bothering him, but now it was back and it kinda made Naruto want to go and pile up with the rest of his hunt.

Genma was sad, sure, but it wasn’t just the old broad sadness; it was a special sadness, a _complicated_ sadness. It needed some of Ya-san’s words to describe it – like ‘melancholy’ or ‘despondent’.

“Yeah.” Naruto shrugged, trying to hop over the topic of the Fourth as quick as he could. “It’s Dad’s stuff. Jiraiya sent it.”

 _Jiraiya sent it_. Naruto still had no clue what to do with that. Was it an apology birthday present? A bribe? Was it actually _Naruto’s_ stuff, which Jiraiya was _finally_ handing over?

Jiraiya did send a message, but it was just basic information about what was in the box, how come the Sage had it in his possession – yeah, Naruto had figured that one out without the hint – and an offer to explain some seal stuff if Naruto wanted to learn. Which… was tempting.

The man might have been an irresponsible, avoidant, miserable pervert and whoremonger, but he was Fire’s best Seal Master, too.

So, dilemma.

“Hiraishin?” Genma asked after a while of quiet. He sat down onto the sofa and leaned forward to look at the notebook over Naruto’s shoulder.

Naruto glanced away from a food preservation seal (with a note in the margins that it worked just as well to preserve heads for bounties with ‘no rot, no stains, no insect’ and a happy face in a different, unfamiliar writing), and found senbon guy – predictably – thoughtfully sucking on a senbon.

“Didn’t get that far,” Naruto replied, “but it’s probably somewhere in the stack. Unless he hid it in the Hokage’s Library like all the other kinjutsu-”

“Nah, it ought to be there,” Genma assured him, gesturing at the box. “At least taichou’s variation. The Nidaime’s original version’s probably on the Forbidden Scroll or somewhere.” He shifted the senbon from side to side in his mouth, which was a senbon-guy-specific nervous gesture that Naruto recognised by now. “You want to learn?”

“…maybe?” Naruto felt a little skeptical. That kind of speed, spatial awareness and rapid change of perspective didn’t sound like fun. In fact, it sounded like trying not to puke while a bunch of his shadow clones cast Kawarimi on him in close succession, while also expecting him to fight every time he landed.

…which, now that Naruto was thinking about it, sounded like a combo technique that could work. With or without the real him involved. Also, he now had exploding clones.

Maybe he could get the Yellow Flash’s effects without spending half a lifetime studying seal theory.

But he liked seals. Just… these were already horrendously complicated, and he didn’t even get to pest control yet.

“If you decide you want to try… let me know. He taught us a bit.”

“Us?” Naruto repeated absently, still mostly focused on the emerging idea of ninjutsu combo that could fake the Hiraishin’s effect plus explosions.

“His guard platoon,” replied senbon guy. “Me and two other ANBU.”

Right, so, no personal identities. That was annoying but fair.

“Dog-taichou?” Naruto guessed, switching tracks from contemplating jutsu to contemplating strategies that could, maybe, get him information out of Kakashi. No one could say he didn’t set himself challenges. This one would probably take him _months_ -

Genma shook his head.

Naruto pouted.

Now he’d have to both figure out who else knew the Hiraishin, and what else he could try to press Kakashi for. No one could say that he backed down from challenges either, _dattebayo_!

x

Anko had just remanded the slightly bruised Iruka into Lynx’s tender care and watched them disappear into distance, when a squirrel skittered down the trunk of the nearest tree, hopped in front of her and poofed into a Naruto.

A Kage Bunshin of Naruto, anyway.

“You didn’t have to do that, nee-chan,” he said, uncharacteristically subdued.

Anko shrugged. “It’s not like I didn’t enjoy it. He needed it, too, I bet.”

“I’m going to have to talk to him soon, anyway.”

Anko patted the boy’s head. He still seemed to enjoy it; that was a little disappointing (she loved how Neji-kun always reacted to his hair being touched like a scalded cat) but Anko found herself relishing the physical contact in lieu of the satisfaction of annoying a kid. It was a good trade-off.

“Sure you will,” Anko agreed, “but it didn’t have to happen right then. And if you wanted it to happen right then, you’d have transformed in front of him instead of tailing Lynx.”

“You noticed me?” Naruto pouted.

Anko laughed. “Lynx noticed you, too. We’re not as incompetent as you seem to think-”

“And you know what to look for.” Naruto puffed up his cheeks, like an actual rodent. “I’m gonna have to come up with something new.”

“I’ll look forward to it, _Phantom of Konoha_.” Anko stamped down on her adoration for the critter before it appeared on her face. “Now dish. How did the talk with Genma-kun go?”

“Boss made me before the spar with Neji, nee-chan, and I’ve been tailing you. I’ve got no clue. But…”

“But?” Anko asked, mildly intrigued by the Naruto’s secretive expression and body language.

Naruto leaned closer to her and whispered in her ear. “It was really nothing like _your_ talk with him-”

And then he dispersed himself before she could hit him.

x

There was a knock on the door.

Iruka wasn’t really surprised to find Naruto standing there. He bit down on the automatic demand that Naruto go home and straight to bed.

Naruto was fourteen, a chuunin, and perfectly capable of making decisions for himself. Even if the decision was to stay out late at night.

“Would you like to come in?” asked Iruka.

“Naruto?” Bisuke ran out of the bedroom, where Guruko was still sleeping off the aftermath of his bout of gastritis. “Hey, Naruto, come on and tell us what’s up with Iruka-”

“Hey, Bisuke,” Naruto replied. He looked up at Iruka. “Taichou’s not here?”

“Mission,” said Iruka and Bisuke in unison.

Kakashi couldn’t share any details, of course, but Iruka suspected he was doing recon for ANBU, who were both somewhat short-staffed _and_ stretched too thin lately. And that made Iruka feel guilty, because his personal protection was tying up shinobi who could have been completing more important tasks instead.

Naruto stepped over the threshold, apprehensive. Iruka hated seeing the wariness in his stance – he thought they were past this. Iruka had proved himself, hadn’t he? Naruto did trust him… didn’t he?

Naruto grimaced. “Ugh, poor Guruko…”

“Yeah, not a good day for him,” Bisuke agreed.

“Your tomatoes are rotting, nii-chan.”

For a moment Iruka didn’t understand what Naruto mean by this, but then Bisuke seemed to have an epiphany, and his quiet ‘that’s what that was?’ sent Iruka into the kitchen to check on the windowsill, where he had left a handful of yellow-orange tomatoes to ripen in the sun. He wasn’t even surprised to find a couple of them turning brown instead of red.

Into the bin they went.

He checked the clock – not quite midnight yet, but far too late for tea. And he wasn’t offering Naruto alcohol – not until Naruto was at least sixteen. _At least_. Iruka would probably change his mind when the time came.

“Sorry,” Naruto crouched and scratched behind Bisuke’s ears, “but d’you think you could leave us to talk alone?”

Bisuke licked Naruto’s nose and returned to the bedroom, without so much as a word of complaint.

Iruka wondered if it was because Naruto was Pack. Kakashi’s ninken _always_ tried to cajole when Iruka told them to do something they didn’t want to do. Or, it occurred to him now, Bisuke might have wanted to _not_ witness the confrontation for his own comfort. That was also a possibility.

Seeing Naruto so uncertain of his welcome made Iruka angry – mostly at himself, but also at everybody else who ever made Naruto feel unwelcome. He stepped closer, wanting to touch Naruto – maybe try to hug him, too, although that kind of contact didn’t come naturally to him – but Naruto was already hugging himself. He was physically closed off.

Iruka remained awkwardly hovering with his hands half-way up. The anger intensified with embarrassment, and it was the embarrassment that made him blurt: “Naruto, who told you?”

Naruto’s fingers tightened on his long dark-blue sleeves. “Told me what?”

“About Kakashi and-”

“You’re…” The boy swallowed. “…not listening to me.” He tugged on both sleeves at the same time, just once, and then let go to free his hands for gesticulation. “Nobody told me!” He searched Iruka’s face for a moment – looking for kami-sama knew what – and then slumped. “Che, whatever.”

Iruka didn’t even know what test he was failing. He felt like he was trying to run through a river, with the stream pulling him in a completely different direction than where he wanted to go. He just needed to understand, that was all. “Then how did you know?”

Naruto rubbed at his face, like he was exasperated that Iruka _just wasn’t getting it_. “The same way I know all the stuff I know, sensei-”

“I thought you talked to people, and _that_ was how you were so well-informed.” Apparently Iruka _wasn’t_ getting it.

He knew he must have missed something, something fundamental, that he and Naruto were misunderstanding each other over some key fact that Naruto considered obvious but which was a complete mystery to Iruka. But, for the life of him, Iruka couldn’t figure it out.

“Yeah, that too,” Naruto confirmed. “But I mostly do my own recon.”

He did his own recon _how_?! What did ‘his own recon’ even mean for a chuunin (other than scoping out pranking targets)?

Naruto defensively hunched and scowled. “‘sides, it’s not like I’m the only one. A lot of people know.”

The Council had been aware for years, of course, and by now probably all of the ANBU found out as well. Perhaps the jounin did, too, but Iruka had the feeling that Asuma-sensei and Kurenai-sensei had stayed out of that loop. In any case, he knew it was too late to stop the spread of the information. It was just a matter of time until _everybody_ knew.

He was just startled that he had somehow managed to miss all the signs. And why was Naruto honestly convinced that it was an open secret?

“ _Which_ lot of people?”

Naruto was friendly with some ANBU, so hopefully he was thinking of them?

Naruto re-crossed his arms in front of his chest, stood straight, and declaimed: “ _Kentarou-san, known in the whole flatlands as the Grey Wolf of the Fields, rode his stallion hard and fast_ -”

“Stop!” Iruka exclaimed. His hands had come up and extended toward the boy, ready to shut him up manually if necessary; they did not connect, because Naruto had jumped back. “Naruto, for the love of kami-sama, do _not_ do that ever again!”

Naruto mulishly glared. “I’m just quoting a book-”

“Don’t!” Iruka snapped. “Just don’t.” He clenched his teeth, mentally cussed out Jiraiya-sama with worse words than he would ever admit knowing, counted down from twenty, and took several deep breaths. Then he managed to say, almost calmly: “Oh dear kami-sama, did Anko let you read that?”

Naruto’s glare dissipated in the meantime. He shrugged. “Yeah, I borrowed that one from her. But I’d read others in the series before.” And then the glare returned, like Iruka’s expression reminded Naruto that he was – for some as of yet incomprehensible reason – angry with Iruka. “Hey, what’s that look for? It’s not like you don’t borrow Kakashi-taichou’s copies-”

“Privately! I do that privately, Naruto! It’s _private_!”

“It’s not that bad. Nobody knows it’s about you unless you tell them. I only figured it out because Raiya-ji called you ‘Itoshii-kun’ that one time-”

“And you were eavesdropping,” Iruka concluded. He sighed. ‘His own recon’ indeed.

Naruto ingenuously widened his eyes. “I was just innocently passing by.”

“Right.” And Iruka was born yesterday.

His otouto threw his hands up in the air. “ _You_ were meeting with _Jiraiya_ in public! I thought we agreed that we didn’t like the guy-”

“He is still one of the Sannin, close personal friend of Hokage-sama, and vital to Konoha!”

“So now you don’t mind him!” Naruto accused.

Iruka narrowed his eyes. “I have a _personal_ problem with Jiraiya, but I won’t let it get in the way of my work.”

Naruto reared back in shock. He remained standing there for a few seconds, looking small and lost like Iruka barely remembered him looking from when he was smaller. He brought his hands up, then he let them down again. He opened his mouth – and closed it without saying anything.

Eventually, once Iruka began wigging out at the silence, Naruto nodded.

Just once. Like he – as opposed to Iruka – finally understood.

And the understanding must have been heavy and painful, because suddenly he was walking out of the apartment. Iruka was so shocked he didn’t even try to stop him from leaving.

He stupidly gaped at the door as it shut with the quietest snick possible, and felt his heart shatter when he heard the softly muttered: “…I didn’t let it, either.”


	3. Third Time Is Not the Charm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!

“Naruto.”

Naruto finished drawing his thirteenth attempt at the food-preservation seal. It looked okay.

Only then he glanced up at the lying masked ninja on his windowsill.

“Hi, Lynx-san. Your shift’s over?” The sky behind the ANBU was till dark, but in the second half of October the Sun didn’t rise until later. “Dya want someyaaawheing to drink?” Had to be late, if Naruto was yawning like that.

Lynx-san’s mask remained unimpressed, but Naruto just had a feeling that the long pause was because yawning was catching and Lynx-san had caught it but good.

“I’m off,” Lynx-san confirmed after he – probably – finished yawning. “I don’t want anything to drink.” He must have been on his way to bed, although most likely via ANBU Headquarters to check in, if not submit a verbal report.

Unless it was enough to check in with his replacement. Naruto didn’t know how that part worked. Probably wouldn’t know unless he became an ANBU – and he was pretty sure he wouldn’t like that.

His hunt wouldn’t like it either.

Dog’s hunt hated it when Dog was ANBU, but Dog didn’t care all that much. Or, he didn’t care enough. His hunt was always the traditional kind with the Alpha leading and the rest following. Bisuke, Guruko and Pakkun preferred to do things their own way, but even they obeyed Kakashi’s orders if he was moved to give any.

Naruto couldn’t even imagine ordering Rikku to do something Rikku didn’t want to do.

“Naruto,” Lynx-san said, a little testily.

Naruto blinked. “Uh, sorry.” He’d gotten lost in his head. He was really tired. Wouldn’t last for much longer – but he had done almost a solid day of good work, so it had been time spent well.

“You need to speak with Iruka-san,” Lynx-san said, oddly forcefully.

Naruto blinked. “What? Why? Is nii-chan alright?! What’s happened to-”

“You were _there_ ,” Lynx-san insisted.

Oh. Oh! Lynx-san thought- He had to be really exhausted if he couldn’t tell.

“Isn’t he asleep, though?” Naruto frowned. Iruka-nii had been sleeping better lately, and (more than) enough, but Naruto still didn’t want to wake him. Especially if Kakashi-taichou was anywhere near enough to be woken, too-

“Hasn’t slept a wink all night,” said Lynx-san.

Naruto climbed to his feet without another protest. If Iruka-nii couldn’t sleep, whatever was going on had to be bad.

Lynx-san accompanied him over the rooftops for several blocks, and then veered off in what would have been the wrong direction for ANBU Headquarters. Probably headed straight home then.

Naruto continued until he reached the building Kakashi-taichou and Iruka-nii lived in. He climbed down from the roof to the right external corridor using as little chakra as he could, mostly holding onto the lightning conductor.

“Hi, Boar-san,” he said before he was preemptively attacked by Iruka-nii’s guard. Boar-san smelled fine – he had had nut cake and a lot of coffee (some of which he had spilled over his trousers) for breakfast, although it was a bit difficult to tell more because he had sprayed himself with deodorant like he had- _oooh_ , he had had company for the night, and woken up too late for a proper shower.

Boar-san didn’t say anything. He was one of the least friendly ANBU on Iruka-nii’s guard detail, but Iruka-nii had a high opinion of him. And so did Genma.

Also, it just now occurred to Naruto that he should have stopped for something to eat for both himself and nii-chan, but it was too late now. If he tried to go shopping, he’d probably trip and brain himself on the ground. Moreover, Ichiraku’s wouldn’t open until later, Naruto didn’t feel up to maintaining an Oiroke no jutsu for long enough, and he didn’t want to have a nasty encounter with anybody who still hated him.

So he knocked on the door empty-handed.

Iruka-nii opened it half a minute later – Dog-taichou wasn’t at home; there were just Bisuke and Guruko and, ew, rotting stuff in nii-chan’s rubbish, but none of that was important, because nii-chan had been crying.

He looked almost fine, just a bit pink-eyed, but Naruto could tell.

Iruka could tell a lot, too, apparently, because after he finished goggling at Naruto at his threshold, he looked around and zeroed in on the lightning conductor.

“Did you climb that?” he asked incredulously. Teachery omniscience, yup. Nii-chan could _always_ tell when anybody did anything they shouldn’t have.

Naruto shrugged. The sky was clear, although still dark, so he wasn’t afraid he’d get struck by lightning. Although that could be a fun new experience.

“Lynx-san said I should talk to you,” Naruto shared before he was asked what he was doing here before dawn.

Iruka didn’t look confused at all. He looked – and smelled – sad and hacked off.

Naruto hated it. He wanted to kick whoever had caused that.

“I didn’t mean what I said,” Iruka-nii muttered. “I was just… startled. And annoyed.”

Naruto had no idea what his nii-chan was talking about, but he knew one thing for a fact. “You’re _still_ annoyed.”

Iruka gritted his teeth, as if that was an accusation, when Naruto was really just saying out loud what his nose could smell. “If you could just give me a straight answer, _please_ -”

“To what question?” Naruto cried, feeling completely dumb.

“Who exactly knows about me and Kakashi?” Iruka demanded, in that voice he used in class when somebody wasn’t paying attention and he had to repeat the same question for the third time. In another minute he would start throwing bits of chalk.

And how was Naruto supposed to know who knew? It wasn’t like they kept it a secret? This was a worse question than anything Iruka-sensei had ever asked him at the Academy.

“Look, I know you’re mad-” He could clearly see and hear and smell it. “-but I really didn’t tell anybody. After that thing with Mizuki-bastard I knew you were embarrassed-”

“I’m not embarrassed!”

He probably really wasn’t, otherwise they wouldn’t have been having this discussion through his open apartment door, where any light sleepers in the nearest apartments could have heard. Not to even mention Boar-san, who tried to disappear in the shadows, but didn’t have much luck hiding his deodorant stink.

Sloppy. A bit disappointing, even, for a lying animal ninja.

Back then with Mizuki-catturd, though, Iruka-nii had been _mortified_. Naruto grinned – it was a great memory. “You were _too_ embarrassed. _So_ embarrassed.”

“I was not!” Iruka-nii hissed, _now_ apparently remembering that he had neighbours.

“You were,” Naruto nodded a couple of times, still grinning, “but that’s okay, ‘cause I know that most people think that Dog-taichou is unreliable and a pervert, and that _is_ embarrassing.” He ignored Boar-san’s cough. “So, I knew you didn’t want people to know and treat you weirdly.”

“That’s not-”

“And then there was the thing with Kono-kun and me making people think you were gonna be Hokage, and then I found out that it could be dangerous for people to know this stuff, too, and I didn’t want the foreign assassins to come after you-”

“Breathe, Naruto-”

“-or come after Kakashi-taichou, even though he probably has foreign assassins for breakfast instead of cereal, so I kept it a secret and didn’t talk about it to anybody. Except, you know, the Pack. And then there was that one time with Nishi-sensei, but that was only ‘cause taichou was teasing me and I sorta turned it back on him. And I think Genma was there-”

His big brother groaned and covered his pinkish eyes with his palm. “Please tell me you didn’t tell half the village.”

Naruto shut up. He felt like someone had punched him in the stomach really, really hard. It was difficult to breathe – he couldn’t even hope to speak. His throat clicked as he tried to swallow.

Was… was that what Iruka thought?

Naruto knew he had screwed up, but he had thought it was only a little screwing up and mostly he was doing real good.

But what if he wasn’t?

He needed to talk to Kana-san. And Ya-san. And maybe Pakkun, too.

He didn’t have enough chakra for summoning, though. So he did the only thing that was left.

He popped.

x

Rikku startled into wakefulness an instant after Naruto did.

He experienced a moment of disorientation.

He was in his home. In the Pack dimension. The only person here with him was Naruto. He had been safe, so he had allowed himself to fall deeply asleep – yes, that was why he was as disoriented now.

Nightmare, he thought, and raised his head to check on his partner.

Naruto sniffled and wiped his cheeks.

Rikku briefly closed his eyes, partly from the sleep-induced sluggishness, partly against the sight of Naruto in pain. His partner had summoned Rikku late last night and asked for a lift, needing to get away from humans. He shared just the broadest strokes of the situation – an argument with someone and frustration over not understanding what he had done wrong – then switched to the topic of Anko-san’s apprentice, and segued into seal theory. Even subdued as he was, he only stopped talking once he started succumbing to exhaustion.

Nightmares weren’t exactly unexpected. Naruto had a handful of regrets, but none of those filled him with true self-loathing, so he didn’t lose that much sleep. If he woke up like this, it was more likely to be the stress of an ongoing situation.

Rikku wasn’t sure what sort of an ongoing situation it was – _an argument_ was too vague, and he could smell five different people Naruto had had close contact with in the past twelve hours. All the talking Naruto had done was to distract himself from what was bothering him, and Rikku decided to wait it out. His partner would speak about what was bothering him when he felt ready.

It was enough to know that Naruto had been so distraught that he had, for the first time ever, asked to sleep over at Rikku’s.

Rikku was worried.

He made an interrogative sound.

Naruto rolled over and pressed his back against Rikku’s side the way he had been sleeping up until a minute ago. “Feedback from a Bunshin,” he explained.

Ah.

Naruto’s clones’ memory-dumps sometimes did wake him up, although the reaction wasn’t usually so violent.

“ _Don’t need to attend to it_ …?” Rikku grumbled out.

“Hrrrn?” Naruto growled in the back of his throat and wriggled.

Rikku thumped him with his tail.

“ _The situation_ ,” Rikku clarified, and only then realised that he wasn’t speaking human.

“What situation?” Naruto asked, confused.

“Clone,” Rikku explained.

“Tmrrrrow,” Naruto rumbled, curling up tighter.

Ironically, for a moment there he sounded almost like he was speaking _dog_.

Rikku lay back down and drifted off. He had so few opportunities to enjoy closeness like this that the very idea of Naruto getting up and leaving now hurt, so he didn’t care that it already _was_ tomorrow.

After all, free days were for sleeping in, and Naruto would have told him if anything was _dangerously wrong_.

x

Kakashi reported, came home and crashed. He woke up in the late afternoon, and discovered that he had missed something important.

Iruka moped.

It happened sometimes, and generally the best way to deal with it was to let it pass (and have an alibi for the inevitable pranking spree).

“Don’t look at me,” Guruko grumbled darkly. “I’m the victim.” He _rejected_ a potsticker from Kakashi’s plate.

“I’ll have that,” Bisuke announced quickly, snatched it and disappeared under the table. “And before you ask, I know _nuffink_.”

Kakashi believed him, if only because Bisuke knew how to make sure he didn’t know things that would have been inconvenient for him to know. He lived by the principle of plausible deniability (which he, annoyingly enough might have learnt from Kakashi).

He flashed a couple of hand-signs at the ANBU on shift, but Tenzou might as well truly have been the part of the wall he was camouflaging as.

Kakashi was left in the dark.

Iruka’s moping grew into full-on brooding. That raised alarm bells that kept ringing in Kakashi’s ears, which was really uncomfortable, and he knew that he had to do something about it before he went deaf from all the racket. Usually when this happened, Kakashi got Iruka drunk.

It was a bad experience all around, with the morning after reaching rarely achieved levels of domestic hell, but once Iruka threw up and slept off his hangover he was better.

Iruka took one look at the bottle in Kakashi’s hand, scowled, and gave Kakashi a glare that suggested he had figured out not only Kakashi’s intentions, but also the logic behind them, and that he was going to be – at best – bitingly uncooperative. With an option of the biting being literal, and not in any way Kakashi would enjoy.

Hmm… dilemma.

Unfortunately, before Kakashi could regroup and implement a new plan, a messenger hawk dropped off another mission for him. Nothing too strenuous, just a couple of A-class rogue ninja with vicious swan summons – it wasn’t funny, swans were specialists in maiming without killing, and they had a way of hissing that worked just as well as killing intent – but it would probably take him more than a day.

At least he knew he could count on Guruko to summon backup if Iruka went completely off the rails while Kakashi was gone.

x

Momiji was napping on a blanket in a sunny spot, still tired from the chill he had caught recently.

Ajisai, Rae and Kitan had gone on a long run with Donguri while the weather was still good, but Haku opted out just as they were leaving the house – when he smelled Naruto.

Now, an hour later, the pups were still doing their odd, unbalanced play-training, and Tsutsuji was getting tired just watching them running around, wrestling and rolling on the grass. The boy still smelled sad, but at least the stink of despair – which painfully reminded Tsutsuji of the time she had found him watching her sleeping puppies – was gone.

She glanced at the position of the sun; Don’ would take the route around the flat-top hill, probably, so she didn’t expect the rest of her family back for another hour or so. A little less if Don’ was angry, and tried to exercise it away.

Tsutsuji had no qualms about reminding Donguri that it was his idea in the first place to have the new Pack human name their smallest puppy. She suspected that he was convinced Haku would not live, and wanted to shift as much pain and guilt away from his family as he could – and now he had to live with the fact that their child had a human, and an unconventional one at that, involved in his life.

Far more involved than Donguri would have expected.

In fact, far more involved than Tsutsuji herself would have expected.

Donguri didn’t want to allow it. Tsutsuji had her moments of doubt, too, but she didn’t know how to undo this. She just had to look at them – Haku standing on top of Naruto’s chest and excitedly yipping into Naruto’s face, wagging his tail so fast it was just a smudge in the air to her eye – and she was sure there was no way of undoing it at all. Certainly not without hurting and alienating Naruto, and probably not without irreversibly damaging Haku either.

It had never occurred to her that the human boy would come to love her pup so much.

“ _Strange lives we live, huh_?” Rikku-san spoke, coming to stand by her side.

Tsutsuji huffed a tentative laugh. “ _That we do_.”

“ _Good, though_?” he asked. As he waited for her answer, there was the slightest waft of anxiousness from him.

Tsutsuji closed her eyes. Her own uncertainty must have been obvious, too. “ _As good as we can make them, I suppose_.”

She didn’t know Rikku-san well. They met occasionally at Pack events, and she was certain they were distantly related (with the exception of a few foster members like Pakkun-san, the entire Pack was interrelated), but the distance was so great she didn’t know the exact connection. Their social circles hadn’t intersected until Naruto-kun had barged into her life and added his share of both joy and concern.

She already knew that Haku would follow Naruto on the path of ninja.

Of course, she would let all her children make their own choices, but she couldn’t deny that this particular choice was not going to make her happy. Especially since Ajisai was definitely going to be a kunoichi, too, and Tsutsuji had her suspicions about Rae.

“ _Is it Naruto_?” Rikku-san asked directly.

Naruto glanced over at the sound of his name, even though it was bark-growled rather than spoken the human way. He turned back to Haku and batted away a play-attack.

“ _No… and yes_ ,” Tsutsuji admitted.

Rikku-san patiently waited for her explanation.

She couldn’t refuse him that. “ _Naruto may be the best thing that could have happened to Haku – and I do care for him, please, do not doubt that – but what he represents… what he brings into our lives_ …” She sighed and closed her eyes. “ _I see a lot of strife in our future_.”

Rikku-san took a deep breath and opened his maw-

“ _I’m being selfish_ ,” Tsutsuji cut off what she feared was going to be an offer to steer Naruto away. That was not what she wanted. Not truly.

And having to reject Rikku-san’s almost-offer was what finally clarified her feelings for her. The decision came as an undeniable relief.

She smiled, wanly but honestly. “ _It’s selfish for a mother to wish there was less courage and loyalty in her child’s heart._ ”

Rikku-san did not say anything, although Tsutsuji fancied that he both agreed and sympathised. After all, it was plain to see how much he loved Naruto.

“ _Don’t encourage him to distance himself from us._ ” She would hate to leave any doubt on this point. “ _We made our decision when we invited Naruto into our family, and maybe we have made it carelessly, without thinking through the consequences, but we’ll stand by it._ ”

Rikku-san snorted. “ _So we’ll do_.”

Tsutsuji was right; he definitely sympathised, even though his situation was very different.

And she didn’t deny that it had occurred to her to ask Naruto to ask Kana-san for this or that a couple of times over the past few months. She did not do it. Not yet. She wasn’t going to abuse the connection, but knowing it was there – it was a comfort. If, one day, any of her children would need anything that she couldn’t provide, she would fall upon Naruto and his adoptive family with all the (awe-inspiring) power of the kindness in Naruto’s own heart.

Rikku-san nodded to himself and departed with a muttered: “ _We are very lucky. And, hopefully, wise enough to appreciate it_?”

x

After Haku’s siblings and Dad came home from their run, Naruto visited the rest of his hunt.

He knew that Rikku was good – Rikku was _happy_ , and it was incredible to see, and it made him so glad (but maybe the smallest, tiniest bit stupidly jealous, but he was going to stop that, grr, ‘cause that was ugly and he didn’t want to feel that at all).

Glad! He was all the way glad! Totally! He wanted everything to work out super good for Kuromaru-san and Rikku, ‘cause they were both great ninken, and they deserved all the good things, and they were nice and clever and definitely, _definitely_ didn’t get into any stupid arguments that could result in hurt feelings-

“Naruto!” called out Annai.

“Naruto!” Juuji echoed her just a moment later.

“Did you go to Haku-chan first?” Annai complained, sniffing at Naruto’s trousers.

See? Jealousy was silly.

“I went to _Rikku_ first,” Naruto retorted, and Annai couldn’t argue against that, ‘cause Naruto and Rikku were partners, and they’d been huntmates the longest, and they were co-leaders, too, so their relationship was different. Annai was Naruto’s sister, and Juuji was his brother, but Rikku was _Rikku_.

“Yeah, okay,” she grumbled.

Naruto crouched down to shoulder-bump her, while he sniffed the air to make sure that there wasn’t anyone else around. Chou-chan stayed inside the house, and both Kana-san and Ya-san were gone for the day. Teaching, probably, or else Shiryuusu-sama was holding Council again.

“Wanna go for a run?” Juuji asked. “Let’s go!”

That actually sounded like a _great_ idea. They could track Donguri-san’s route. Since Donguri-san ran with puppies, it shouldn’t take Naruto and his two huntmates as long, so they’d be back just in time for lunch!

Before they set out, though, Naruto squinted at Juuji, and ordered: “Dish!”

“What?” Juuji tried, but he wasn’t any good at lying.

“I wasn’t born yesterday!” Naruto poked a finger at Juuji’s ribs, and grimaced at the faded but still easily recognisable smell. “Who’s she and how long have you been seeing her?”

Juuji turned away, but hiding his face did little when his wagging tail betrayed him (Annai almost choked laughing at him). “…a while.”

“Cru-u-ud!” Annai called out in between giggles.

“I liked her for a while,” Juuji corrected.

“Took him _months_ to even say anything to her,” Annai assured Naruto. “And then she had the bad taste to _like him back_. Bleh.” She made a sound like she had to throw up.

“Bleh right back at you!” yelled Juuji and bowled his sister over, teeth clacking just a hair’s breadth from Annai’s ear.

“I’ll run ahead,” Naruto told the wrestling ball of dog-siblings. “You catch up whenever.” And off he went.

He heard barking behind him, but it grew distant. After a while he caught Donguri-san’s tracks, and after another while the woods grew thicker. He ran, trying not to think about anything, even though all sorts of thoughts jumped through his head. About Iruka-nii-chan and Dog-taichou (and not about Haku). About Rikku and Kuromaru-san (and not about Zabuza either). About little Haku-chan and Haku-chan’s family (and definitely, _definitely_ not about the mission to Wave). About Neji and Anko-nee and senbon guy, Gaara and Tsunade-ba-san and Shizune-san, and he even thought a bit about Jiraiya, but that made him madder, so he stopped that quick.

He was almost all the way around the first hill when Juuji bounded up behind him.

“Annai bailed,” he reported – a bit like he was grassing her up. Silly.

Naruto hadn’t _ordered_ them to run. He was the leader of their hunt, sure, but they were just having family time today.

“What was it like?” he asked. He couldn’t help feeling curious. He heard a lot – _a lot_ – from Anko-nee, but it was different from someone just a bit older than Naruto himself. Someone who was doing sex things for the first time.

“Good?” Juuji said, a bit like he was just guessing. “There’s a part in the end that’s really weird, when you just, you know, stand there. But Dad warned me, so… dunno. But mostly good.”

Naruto wondered if he had missed something. ‘Just standing there’ wasn’t a part of any talk he had received from anyone. He’d have to hunt down Anko-nee and ask.

x

“Holy shit, chewtoy, what the hell?”

Iruka snorted into his teacup.

The elderly couple at the next table looked at him with concern, but the gentleman leaned to his – apparently vision-impaired – wife and softly said: “ninja.” The lady nodded in perfect understanding, and they both turned to Iruka with the kind of a smile one might give a small child insisting on growing up to be a butterfly, or a harmless but uncomfortably friendly lunatic.

Usually Iruka would have returned a similarly benevolent smile, but today his face couldn’t seem to lose a serial-killer sort of expression. He turned back to his tea tray without acknowledging the couple.

He knew that he was supposed to ignore his ANBU guard, but it was _Anko_. How was he supposed to ignore Anko? Especially when she whispered to herself about him?

“Have you seen Naruto today?” he asked at normal conversational volume. He carefully didn’t look at the other teahouse patrons, aware that he must have seemed completely insane to them.

They probably weren’t even wrong.

There was a moment of silence while Anko figured out that he really was addressing her. “Don’t fucking do that,” she grumbled.

“Just tell me, yes or no.” Iruka saw a group of ladies turning in his direction. They leaned in closer over the table so the huddle could discuss him – he tried not to listen. It was flattering, he guessed, but very uncomfortable.

One of them stared for a lot longer than the others, long enough that Iruka began to consider glaring at her (kami-sama damn the wisdom of not frightening civilians), but then she turned away at last and told the others not to bother, because he was ‘obviously taken’, whatever the heck that was supposed to mean?!

Iruka gritted his teeth.

_Obviously taken_.

Maybe Naruto was more right than Iruka wanted to admit to himself.

The same woman looked over once more-

Did they know each other? Iruka couldn’t see her face clearly in the reflection he was watching, and she looked similar to a couple of Hyuuga he had taught, so maybe she was retired? or one of the civilian Clan members?

-and then leaned down to scratch in between the ears of a white collie – one of those decorative ones that were bred and trained as living accessories.

“Yes or no, _Anko-san_?” Iruka demanded angrily.

“Yes,” she whispered up in the rafters, “and now shut the fuck up before I ask for reassignment.”

Splendid. Now he managed to piss off not just his little brother, but also his only friend. He might as well irritate Kakashi and complete the set. Sod this.

He rose and walked out of the teahouse, peripherally aware of Anko ghosting behind him.

Kakashi was on a mission, which might have been for the best. He didn’t deserve to deal with this. Iruka would just destroy some training logs, and maybe he’d feel up to some vindictive pranking at the Missions Desk afterwards?

And if not that, hopefully he’d manage a bit of grovelling, so Anko would get him drunk and pour him onto his sofa.

x

Kana-san kept looking back at Naruto with every few steps.

He hadn’t meant to make her worry!

That’s why he hadn’t talked to her about what happened with Iruka-nii. That, and he was a bit scared that she’d be mad at him for – ugh, for being a coward. Naruto shouldn’t have hidden away in the Pack dimension. He should have gone for a run to clear his head and then straight back to Iruka-nii to clear the air between them, too. This was a stupid argument, and they were both hurting for stupid reasons and…

And just _grrr_.

Stupid!

It felt like the world was trying to teach him a lesson about why he shouldn’t hide things from Kana-san, because why else would they meet Iruka-nii at the teahouse?! Naruto hadn’t even know nii-chan went to that teahouse. He should have thought of it, though, ‘cause Kakashi went there…

On the other hand, they never went anywhere public together, so it wasn’t so weird Naruto didn’t expect it?

Iruka-nii looked so terrible. And he smelled _so_ mad.

Naruto had panicked a little, and he covered with the girls – who now thought he was _attracted_ to ‘that mysterious ninja’ – ewwww! – but he didn’t know if he should go over or not, and then Iruka-nii didn’t recognise him, which made sense, ‘cause Iruka-nii only saw Naruko-chan twice, each time only for a few seconds, and it was such a long time ago, and he met a lot of people every day… so why would he remember?

“Grr-arrrf _home_?” Kana-san asked worriedly.

Naruto understood the last part – ‘home’ was an easy word, and his hunt used it when they wanted to talk without being understood by other people, so he recognised it. The first part, though, he could only guess at.

He crouched down, pretending like he was disentangling a dry leaf from Kana-san’s fur, and under the cover said: “I’m alright.” He smiled – or, at least, Naruko smiled, although Naruto meant it. Tried to mean it, anyway.

Kana-san understood. And he wasn’t going to disappoint her by begging off, not when they so rarely had a chance to train together.

“Naruko-chan?” Aira-chan called out from the other side of the street.

Naruto rose to his feet and waved at her. “Sorry, Aira-chan! I’m coming!”

“-these beautiful hand-painted ones imported from the Land of Tea just last week,” Yuuko-chan was saying as Naruto caught up. “You’ve got to see them. Shin will kill me if I buy another one, but I can’t let them all go to strangers. Each of you _must_ pick one.”

“Don’t get dramatic about it,” chided her ‘zuna-chan, but she was smiling at the same time.

“But-!”

“Pipe down, darling; we’re going to look at them,” assured her Aira-chan.

Naruto felt his smile becoming more real. He didn’t forget about nii-chan – he couldn’t, it was like you couldn’t forget about a stab wound, because it kept twinging every time you moved – but he let himself feel the simple happiness of a shopping trip. The girls weren’t really very happy in their everyday lives, except maybe Yuuko-chan, who complained a lot but tended to be dramatic about the tiniest problems, so either she just didn’t talk about the big ones or she didn’t have any.

Naruto didn’t know her that well, but she smelled happy.

Right now they all smelled happy – except Nai-chan, who just smelled exhausted. She didn’t speak much today, and Naruto knew she was pregnant (she didn’t say anything yet, but he could tell) and sick all the time. She had asked Kirimi-san – the teahouse proprietor – for some special tea, too, and even so had to use the bathroom twice. Both times she came back stinking of bile.

“It’s that store right over there-”

“We _know_ , Yuuko-chan!”

Naruto followed the group into the clothes shop. By now he was comfortable in places like this, but the first time he came he had tried to bring Kana-san along, and there was a nasty argument about dogs not being allowed inside – in which several of the girls took Naruto’s side without Naruto knowing he had a side, and it was all weird and incomprehensible… and strangely nice.

Today Kana-san remained outside, and her genjutsu leash looked like it was tied to a lamppost. She maintained that genjutsu, ‘cause Naruto still couldn’t get the trick.

“See?” Yuuko-chan was exclaiming from deeper in the store. “What did I tell you? Beautiful!”

“This is exquisite,” Nai-chan agreed quietly.

“Yes. Oh my kami, I _need_ to buy one,” added ‘zuna-chan.

Aira-chan, too, was already elbows-deep in the selection of kimono.

They really were very pretty. Naruto stared at the patterns: at golden dragons, red-orange phoenixes, deep green forest scenes, black-and-white samurai…

He only had one girl’s kimono, and it was nothing like this. It was plain, with a simple printed pattern. It was soft pink.

He had bought it because… He actually wasn’t sure why.

Usually, Naruto didn’t think about Haku very often. Luckily. Only once in a while, when he was especially sad or lonely, or when he saw something that reminded him… like snow… or when someone spoke of something _precious_.

Today he couldn’t seem to stop.

It wasn’t Iruka-nii’s fault, he knew that, but those words still opened up an old wound, and now Naruto couldn’t go anywhere, do anything, without his mind straying back to that mission in Wave.

He was not wearing the pink kimono today only ‘cause he’d come with Kana-san straight from the Pack dimension, so he really wore an old pair of training trousers, a faded orange-ish t-shirt with a fish with an empty speech-bubble, and a blue hoodie Genma gave him as a birthday present (which he loved, and wore everyday, and should wash by now). Everything people could see on Naruto, down to his make-up, was just an Oiroke.

“Is it that bad?” Aira-chan asked under her breath while the other girls were distracted.

Naruto gave her a smile. Just like the one he had given to Kana-san earlier, it wasn’t very convincing.

He hadn’t meant to make Aira-chan worried, especially not for the health of a man who didn’t really exist.

“I am sure he will get better soon,” Naruko-chan promised, and moved to join her friends, determined to buy something (Naruto had enough funds to buy five of these special kimono, if he didn’t mind living without ramen for the next couple of weeks – which he did).

He forbade himself anything in pink. He had to move past this grief so it wouldn’t stick unexpected senbon into the soft spots of his relationships with living people.

He was visiting with Gaara in the evening, and he definitely didn’t want to heap any more sadness on Gaara.

Besides, he knew that the real Haku was nothing like the person Naruto had built up in his mind.

Unfortunately, knowing that did not seem to help.

x

In the end Kakashi’s mission took less than thirty hours; he retained the full use of all his extremities, delivered both heads to the ANBU Headquarters, and afterwards ambled along the empty night streets, hoping to fall into his bed and wake up in the morning with Iruka smiling at him.

The first part of that plan went perfectly. The second half was a complete bust.

There was an Iruka in the morning, but he was nothing at all like Kakashi’s Iruka. He was most definitely not smiling. His eyes were dull, his skin had a greyish tinge to it, and he walked hunched over, as though he were constantly trying to curl in on himself. His words were empty of emotion when he asked if Kakashi wanted tea.

It was a bit as if the lights were on, but no one was home, although part of that was probably his hangover.

Iruka had disappeared.

This silently angry, depressed man left in his place made Kakashi sick to his stomach. It was beyond anything he had encountered in recent past. Kakashi didn’t have the first clue how to counter this blankness. Thinking of it, he wouldn’t even know whom to ask for suggestions.

In between Tenzou and Gai, even Anko looked like a better option. And Anko was terrible at any interpersonal interaction that didn’t involve sex. This morning’s hangover, Kakashi was certain, had been her attempt at helping (he decided to ignore the fact that his original strategy had been the same).

Kakashi tried food once he was sure that Iruka’s nausea had passed: “We could check out that new restaurant the Akimichi opened on the corner of Aspen and Mistward.” That would be a way to publicly declare their relationship without unnecessary drama.

Iruka blinked at him, sighed, and tiredly shook his head.

Kakashi tried touching. “C’mere. I sleep better when you’re there.” Which was a lie, but Iruka would have usually pretended that he didn’t know that.

Today Iruka softly scoffed and curled up in the corner of the sofa, blanket wound tightly around his shoulders.

On the next day, after Iruka came home from the Academy, Kakashi tried social obligation, which was a sure bet that Iruka would at least put on his polite mask and pretend that he was fine. At this point even that would have been better than the unnatural veneer of apathy.

No dice, though.

Kakashi tried alcohol again, out of sheer desperation. Iruka grimaced like he was trying not to throw up at the mere idea – Anko must have gone all-out.

Kakashi went to sleep solitary and cold, and slept fitfully, intermittently waking from nightmares. In the early hours of the morning he found that he was alone in the flat, and that helped him strengthen his resolve.

It was time for desperate measures.


	4. Barking Mad

Naruto woke up just in time to dodge the Suiton jutsu. He fell out of his bed, rolled to his feet and squinted into the darkness.

“Whaa…? Dog-taichou…?”

“Runt,” Kakashi returned, idly shifting a shuriken between his fingers.

Despite having just been awakened before dawn, Naruto was quick on the uptake. “Iruka’s that mad?”

“No.” Kakashi waited for his student to tentatively relax, before he added: “Worse. _I_ am that mad.” And how nice of Naruto to volunteer as a target by confirming that he knew what was going on with Iruka.

Naruto stared at Kakashi with one of his trademark vacant expressions, which usually disguised his most frantic and convoluted thinking processes. Then he stabbed his index finger in the air, aimed at Kakashi’s mask. “First off – ‘course you are, ‘cause you’re _that_ predictable. Second, I don’t really care. Whatcha gonna do? Beat me up ‘cause nii-chan can dish it out but ‘pparently he can’t take it? Or just on principle?” There was a very uncharacteristic venom in his words, and it might have given Kakashi a pause, if not for the hurtfully offensive conclusion: “You wouldn’t be the first, and you know it, _Inu-taichou_.”

Kakashi had protected this brat throughout his entire childhood, and would continue to protect him while there was breath in his lungs. The insinuation that he would _seriously_ attack Naruto-

He moved.

Naruto ducked and slammed into the floor, leaving craters under the heels of his hands where he was trying to keep his face from breaking. He curled up on his side around his arm. Kakashi wouldn’t have hurt him, and neither could tripping over his own covers. At worst the boy might have a sprained wrist, and with Naruto that was barely-an-injury that would be healed within an hour anyway.

Besides, a chuunin should be ready to face an enemy even when woken unexpectedly in the middle of the night. This was good training. And if Kakashi felt a little guilty-

He stopped when there was a surge of chakra. Naruto had used the ruse of an injury to cover hand seals.

Mid-jump, Kakashi admitted to himself that this was one wily student that made his teacher proud. And his teacher’s teacher, wherever Minato-sensei was watching from.

He changed his mind when he landed and found Pakkun sitting in between him and a crouched Naruto, both wearing comically identical expressions – glaring daggers at Kakashi.

“Are you being socially maladjusted again, Kakashi?” Pakkun asked.

Naruto scowled for all he was worth, and then clamped down on the leaking killing intent before they were swarmed by ANBU.

Pakkun patted his calf.

“Well,” the ninken continued coolly, “there is only one solution I see that will benefit the Pack. Kakashi, summon Bisuke and have him bring Iruka here. We’re clearing the air before you two earn an audience before Shiryuusu-sama.”

Naruto shivered. “I’d be more worried about Kana-san-”

“That is because you have never angered the Honourable Head before, Naruto-chan.”

It was no secret that Pakkun was better at acting human than Kakashi, so Kakashi did the prudent thing and followed orders.

Since they were both ninja, it was less than ten minutes later when the door opened.

Led by Bisuke, Iruka came in (he smelled like stale sweat and grass, so he must have been taking a post-training nap), stopped in the doorway and took a look around the stage of Naruto’s bedroom.

“What…” he asked in a low, dangerous voice, “…is going on here?”

Kakashi hated everything about this situation, but at least his partner sounded alive again.

Iruka’s eyes took in the surroundings and were inevitably drawn to the dribbles of fresh blood leading from two cracks in the floor to the edge of the bed where Naruto was sitting, grumbling quietly to Rikku, whom he had summoned once Pakkun stopped acting as his bodyguard and became more of a mediator.

It was sadly not that odd to see Naruto feel unsafe, even within Konoha, and in Kakashi’s presence.

What did take the proverbial cake, though, was the fact that Iruka’s presence failed to ease the anxiety – if anything, Naruto’s state actually worsened.

Perhaps Kakashi should have tried to talk this out first, before resorting to his default method of issue resolution through combat.

“Dogfight,” Bisuke deadpanned and unsummoned himself.

Rikku yawned; Naruto immediately followed suit.

Iruka turned to Kakashi, and there was nowhere to hide. Wise to Kakashi’s methods, familiar (after years of classroom teaching) with all the permutations of conflicts and tensions between child-like minds, Iruka deconstructed the entire situation within seconds. Then he spun on his heel and stomped off to Naruto’s kitchen, leaving all four Pack members to stare after him.

Rikku climbed onto the bed, huffed at not finding a dry spot (considering that he was still bigger than Naruto, this wasn’t actually a surprise), closed his eyes and pretended to go to sleep. It palpably helped lessen the inimical atmosphere in the room.

It helped Kakashi breathe a little more easily in any case.

After a long while of strained silence Naruto called out: “That’s _my_ instant ramen!”

“Don’t be selfish, Naruto-chan,” Pakkun admonished.

The boy gave him the stink-eye.

Kakashi created a shadow clone to replace himself with and snuck off to the kitchen, where he found Iruka sitting on a rickety chair, knees drawn up under his chin and forehead crisscrossed with lines. Back in the bedroom his shadow clone dispersed when Pakkun bit its ankle.

Kakashi tapped his fingers on the counter and grimaced at how sticky it was. “He’s young-”

“And I hurt him,” Iruka snapped, interrupting Kakashi. That, in and of itself, was a bad sign. When Iruka cut someone off it meant that shit had become real.

Kakashi swallowed. “I… thought it was the other way around.”

Iruka scoffed. “Naruto would chew off his own hand before he’d hurt me.”

Fucked, Kakashi mused. Or, rather, the opposite. He was on the sofa for the foreseeable future, no doubts about it. He just didn’t do well when confronted with a hurting Iruka. He had a berserk button where his mate was concerned (who didn’t?).

Iruka shook his head, and with woeful despondency ordered: “Go and apologise. I’ll come to make my own apologies once I figure out how.”

“Or you could just say you’re sorry and invite me for ramen,” Naruto remarked from the other room. “Not my own ramen, though. That doesn’t count.” He appeared in the doorway a moment later, completely ignored Kakashi as he brushed past him, and went for the kettle. “Just don’t… don’t cry.”

Naruto kept his back turned to them, rummaging in the pantry. He placed a second cup on the counter next to the one Iruka had pulled out, and stared at them for a while. Then he huffed, shook his head and brought out a third one.

Iruka failed to be inconspicuous as he wiped off a tear.

Kakashi slumped, faking nonchalance so hard that he was sure they could both tell how high-strung he really was. He couldn’t remember when he had last felt this uncomfortable, but it must have been very long ago. His usual modus operandi for situations that made him feel uncomfortable was Shunshin.

“Coffee?” Naruto asked, rooting through a drawer for some utensils.

“Nah,” replied Pakkun from the doorway. “I’ll go and catch my forty winks. Summon me tomorrow – and Kana, too, or she’ll take it out of my hide.”

Naruto turned his head just enough for a lifted mouth-corner to be seen. “Kana-san wouldn’t.”

Pakkun snorted. “She most definitely would. You’re her pup, Naruto-chan, and when she feels that her pups are threatened, she’s a right bitch. So to say.”

“No, she wouldn’t,” maintained Naruto. And then clarified: “She’d sick Ya-san on you.”

Pakkun shuddered. “ _Tomorrow_ , pup. Kakashi, I’d say it was a pleasure, but…” He disappeared in a puff of chakra smoke.

The kettle whistled. Naruto poured hot water into all three prepared ramen cups. Then he steeled himself and turned around.

Iruka broke. He launched himself off of the chair and at Naruto, hugging him for all he was worth. Since he had landed on his knees, Naruto stood a good bit taller than him; he just remained standing there, looking down at the back of Iruka’s head in bemusement that would have been funny at another time. Eventually, he reached up and patted Iruka’s hair.

“You’re a poohead,” Naruto whispered.

Iruka vigorously nodded into his chest.

“But I love you anyway,” the boy continued under his breath, “and you love me, even though I’m an even bigger poohead than you.”

Iruka’s shoulders shook.

“You better not be crying down there, nii-chan,” Naruto grumbled mock-threateningly.

Iruka laughed out loud. Kakashi blinked at the scene. And pouted.

He’d have thought that Iruka would at least tell him they were adopting before the fact.

x

Yesterday Naruto had woken up in Rikku’s den.

Today Rikku woke up in Naruto’s bed.

It wasn’t the symmetry of it that struck him, but the ease. The utter lack of any feeling of displacement. Rikku hadn’t shared sleeping arrangements outside of a mission with anyone since… _Sakumo_. He had expected melancholia or, worse, a depressive episode, but there were no bad feelings whatsoever.

The closeness was pleasant, and so was Naruto, now that he was a little older and a little more in control of his mouth. He loved to talk – he loved to _communicate_ – but it wasn’t nearly as compulsive as it used to be in the past. Either it was the starvation for contact that had made him so obnoxious as a child, or else maturity gave him the ability to restrain himself.

Or both. Most likely both.

Yesterday he did have trouble shutting up, but that was his way of dealing with stress, so Rikku had waited for it to pass, and now he enjoyed the quiet-

“Thank you,” Naruto said, putting a bowl of water down in front of Rikku.

Only Naruto. He couldn’t have timed that better if he had tried. So much like this boy to defeat any expectation, however trivial.

Rikku helped himself to the water. He didn’t generally mind tea, but he minded what Naruto called ‘tea’, and he considered coffee one of the human inventions that proved the entire species’ inability to survive without supervision.

“Thank _you_ ,” Rikku returned, feeling far too lazy and comfortable in the late morning. Naruto’s bed (which Rikku had dried out with a handy jutsu as soon as Naruto’s taichou’s back was turned) was warm, and the October day outside looked extremely uninviting.

“It’s so stupid, looking back,” Naruto muttered, sitting down onto the mattress with his thigh just lightly touching Rikku’s paw. “Nii-chan and I, we both twisted ourselves around this imagined anger, and then it all turned out so pointless…”

Rikku set his head down on top of his foreleg and closed his eye. He tried to keep the memories locked away, but they remained in the back of his mind, not quite as vivid as they used to be, but still painful. “Stoicism is overrated,” he said.

“Huh?” A hand lightly touched the back of Rikku’s head, and tender fingers combed through the fur on Rikku’s neck.

“Don’t believe anyone who tells you not to talk about things,” Rikku rephrased.

Naruto laughed. “Like I could stop talking if I tried!”

Rikku had expected a similar reaction, but it was still reassuring. “The stoic ones are left guessing what the other one might wish for, and they invariably get it wrong.”

Naruto’s hand paused, and then moved to stroke Rikku’s fur again. “‘s that what happened with you and taichou?”

Rikku sighed. He should have expected this. He didn’t give Naruto unsolicited life advice unless he felt strongly about a particular topic, and Naruto could smell everything Rikku was feeling, so there was no point in pretending. He would have liked to say it wasn’t any of Naruto’s business, but the truth was that as Rikku’s partner and _Sakumo’s_ son’s subordinate, Naruto was right at the contact point of these two emotional storms.

“It is what happened with Pakkun and me,” he said. “We just held our silence for too long.” It wasn’t anyone’s fault. It angered Rikku that he could have prevented so much hurt (his own but, far more importantly, also that one human child’s) if he had just spoken out loud instead of burying his pain.

Naruto whined softly and laid down so he could press into Rikku’s side.

“It’s alright,” Rikku assured him. “It was a long time ago. Things are better now-”

Naruto scoffed.

Rikku ignored him. Things _were_ better now.

“If this is better, the past sucked cat-arse,” Naruto grumbled.

Rikku nipped at him, on purpose catching just his sleeve.

“I’m thinking chicken for lunch,” Naruto suggested faux-idly.

It was telling that Rikku’s favourite food had become Naruto’s comfort food.

Rikku wanted to go. He did. Not just for the chicken. Mostly not for the chicken, in fact. Mostly for Naruto and also for himself-

“Oh, right,” Naruto said, smacking his palm against his forehead. “You’re busy – I know you said, yesterday, I just wasn’t thinking-”

“I can cancel-”

“Don’t,” Naruto cut off Rikku’s honest but reluctant offer. He grinned (and today Rikku believed him the grin, as opposed to yesterday). “I’m fine. Say hi to Kuromaru-san for me.”

“Alright.”

Rikku still didn’t like the look on Naruto’s face. It seemed too pensive to him. But Naruto _knew_ that he could call whenever he needed his hunt, and reiterating it now would be patronising.

x

Iruka woke up bleary-eyed, stressed, still tired and unable to stop thinking.

Also buoyed and bursting with determination.

Were Kakashi a little less annoyed about the entire debacle, he might have called it ‘burning with the Will of Fire’, but he wasn’t in the mood to tolerate archaic propaganda.

“Forgot what that looked like,” he remarked, squeezing past Iruka into the bathroom to grab his toothbrush.

“Whuh-?” Iruka glanced up, checked his face – with his bleary eyes and a bunch of pillow marks crisscrossing his right cheek – in the mirror, and found nothing out of ordinary.

“Back in your element, sensei?”

Iruka huffed and swatted at him. This was a brilliant strategy because, squeezed between him and the cabinet, Kakashi didn’t have the room to dodge. The swat was about as hard as a leaf falling from a tree hitting him would be, anyway.

Kakashi’s fingers traced the seal on Iruka’s shoulder through the thin fabric of his sleeping t-shirt.

Iruka met his eye in the mirror – wary and defensive – and Kakashi hid from that look by leaning down, brushing away a tangled mass of hair, and pressing a kiss to the back of his neck.

The only reaction he got was a conspicuous non-reaction.

Still in the doghouse, then.

It wasn’t exactly undeserved, Kakashi knew – which was what made it so hard. Having Iruka mad at him was never a walk in the park (else Kakashi wouldn’t have been able to take it, and consequently Iruka himself, seriously, and they never would have fit as partners in any sense of the word), but it was always worst when the guilt of a screw-up ate at him.

Kakashi abhorred fucking up.

Iruka spat out the toothpaste foam, rinsed his mouth, wiped his face with the towel and turned to look directly at Kakashi.

There was nowhere to dodge. Kakashi could Kawarimi away – if he didn’t mind having Iruka’s self-exile to the sofa extended, which he did.

“Does the name ‘Haku’ mean anything to you?” Iruka asked.

Not the question Kakashi had expected.

Well… shit.

He reminded himself that there was no point to wishing that things which happened hadn’t happened, and tried to summon some healthy apathy.

Right. Naruto must have said too much and not enough at the same time. That took a special kind of mind. And led to a special kind of problems.

“To me or to Naruto?” Kakashi prevaricated.

He still had no idea _what_ exactly Naruto had shared of that (still classified, although in Iruka’s case classification meant little to nothing) A-rank clusterfuck. Kakashi had had his handful of nightmares, _cheerfully_ dealt with them, and shelved that memory of pointless violence among the many other memories of pointless violence he incubated.

“Naruto,” Iruka specified.

“Ah.” Yes, of course it would have to have been the more difficult option. For Kakashi an emotional gut wound like that was just another month in the field (used to be another _week_ ), but for Naruto… “Not the puppy?” he tried as a last-ditch effort to get out of explaining this.

Iruka scowled at him and moved to put his hands on his hips; there was only enough room for the left one. He bumped his right elbow on the sink. “I know the puppy. But this is something different. And painful.”

Kakashi nodded. “Yes. Painful.” He took a deep breath. Held it. Released it. “Haku is dead, sensei. I think that is all you need to know.”

Iruka stepped sideways and more fell out of the bathroom than walked out. He moved to slam the door, reconsidered (for which Kakashi was grateful), and then paced around the hall like he was looking for the right object to punch. “Damn. Damn it!”

“Was that what you and Naruto argued about?” Kakashi asked. It wasn’t quite taking his life into his hands, because he was stronger and faster than Iruka. And Iruka would miss Kakashi, so he was unlikely to even _seriously_ attempt to chuck him out of a window.

Iruka paused mid-step. After a momentary struggle against himself he deflated and shuffled back to the bathroom doorway, where he leaned against the doorframe and looked at Kakashi with no anger whatsoever – just sadness. “Not explicitly. But I think that _underneath_ that might have been the source of the conflict. At least in part.”

Kakashi solemnly nodded. He knew how that went. “I’m not sure… but he might be something like Naruto’s Obito. Or Rin. Or some variation on the theme.”

The theme of regret. He looked down at his hand, which of its own volition clenched into a fist.

And that – well – that was a clear enough implication that it made Iruka shudder. _Nakama no Goroshi_. Friend-Killer. Once, a long time ago, Kakashi had explained to Iruka the reason for that moniker.

Now Iruka looked like he wondered if Kakashi had killed ‘Naruto’s Haku’ to spare Naruto the pain of that duty.

When, truly, Naruto had not even had a full conversation with that nominal enemy, and Kakashi had only unintentionally punched through a nukenin’s self-sacrificing meat-shield.

In fact, the only warning Kakashi had had that this might ever become an issue was a puppy.

A literal _puppy_.

No amount of genius could have interpreted that one.

x

Iruka’s search for Naruto started promisingly – by Iruka spotting Rikku-san walking down a street – then got a bit complicated – when Rikku-san told Iruka that Naruto had gone out but didn’t say where – and then stalled entirely, when Iruka failed to find his little brother in any of the places that had occurred to him as options.

Jackal-san faithfully accompanied him several times around the village, and didn’t complain. He didn’t even sigh, which Iruka couldn’t say about anyone else on his guard detail. Not even about Anko.

Definitely not about-

“I’ve been tracking you down for thirty-five minutes,” Genma-san’s voice muttered.

Iruka turned to ask him for the reason before it occurred to him that the reproach wasn’t directed at him. And it wasn’t ‘Genma-san’ at the moment; it was ‘Dragonfly-san’ trading off with Jackal-san. Most of their conversation was done in handsigns, but Dragonfly-san punctuated his briefing with softly spoken observations.

“Saw him less than an hour ago,” Dragonfly-san said in response to something Iruka couldn’t hear. “No, fuck this, I’m going- I realise that, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to pretend I’m not here- You do things your own way, I do them mine.”

Jackal-san left then, with only the cadence of his steps betraying his irritation.

Iruka waited for his bodyguard to say something else – preferably to share Naruto’s location.

After a minute of determined silence, he changed his approach. He put a hand on his hip and scowled upwards at the terrace, where his ANBU guard was hiding. “I’m not going to stop until I’ve found Naruto. We can traipse around Konoha for a few hours – or you can spare us the time and effort, and just tell me.”

Dragonfly-san dropped over the terrace’s railing and landed in front of Iruka like a solid shadow. He signed something, which Iruka couldn’t interpret aside from the spiral – the spiral was clearly a symbol for Naruto. There had been two spirals, though.

If that was the way he wanted to play it, Iruka didn’t mind.

“I should have taken Bisuke with me,” he said, wondering why the obvious answer hadn’t occurred to him earlier. Oh, right – he was still angry at Kakashi. A bit. Maybe. Not really. Mostly he was still worried about all of them. In any case, Bisuke didn’t want to be embroiled in that emotional mire, so he had been conspicuously absent lately.

And maybe Iruka took that more personally than he should have.

“You know, Umino-sama,” Dragonfly-san spoke shrewdly, “Uzumaki-san told me you can read minds.”

Iruka looked at him as though he didn’t understand a word of the rebuke. “I am a schoolteacher, _Genma_ -san. Mind-reading is a prerequisite for the job.”

Dragonfly-san groaned. “Is this how you’re giving Dove and Boar grey hair? Because I can see it. Can we at least not stand in the middle of the street while we’re having this conversation?”

Iruka maintained his scowl. “We could be on our way to-”

“Yes, yes.” Dragonfly-san created a shadow clone, which promptly henge’d into his everyday appearance.

“C’mon, Iruka,” said the Bunshin. “I’ll take you there. Leave the nice ANBU in the shadows where he belongs.”

Iruka hoped the stink-eye he was giving the real Genma was as impressive as he tried to make it. Unfortunately, the insectoid mask remained unmoved.

But he did follow the clone, because at least this way he was getting somewhere.

And the clone chattered. Unceasingly, with the kind of artificial gregariousness that was clearly put on to annoy Iruka in revenge for being an intractable client. If the guard detail considered him a _client_. The way they treated him, he was probably _package_.

“…heard from Anko that you had dropped in on our training,” Genma-san’s clone was saying as they traversed the roofs. “Why didn’t you just join us? I’m always happy to share Anko’s attention with someone else – anyone else, really. Except the chibi is on _her_ side, so he doesn’t count.”

In that situation, Iruka would also be firmly on Anko’s side, whatever that actually meant.

He just wanted to talk to Naruto. He had been wanting to talk to Naruto since he woke up, _twelve hours ago_. But obligations came first. And he loved teaching.

“And she’s somehow got Yuugao to go along with the craziness, and Yuugao thinks Naruto with a neko-te is the funniest thing to happen in Konoha since that one time Lynx got traumatised by…” He cut himself off, and coughed into his fist.

He was laughing, clearly – laughing at Iruka.

Iruka gritted his teeth. It was just a Kage Bunshin. It would pop if he gave it a solid flick-

-but then he’d have to go back to trying to find Naruto by himself, and Naruto had gotten much, much better at hiding since he was at the Academy.

“Anyway,” Genma-san’s clone concluded, “if they really try the double-hand-cat-clawed mass shadow clone shtick next time they’re training together, I’m out. I’m only a _special_ jounin, and you’ve got to be way crazier to expose yourself to that.”

Iruka thought of an army of Naruto’s Kage Bunshin who wore _neko-te_ on both hands in a melee, and gulped.

“I’ll talk to him,” he promised. Then he narrowed his eyes. “If I do actually get to see him today.”

“Well,” replied the Bunshin, “then I guess it’s a good thing we’ve arrived.”

Iruka looked down. And listened.

Yes, Naruto was there – and so were two other people.

“Is this Anko-san’s apartment?” he asked incredulously.

The clone laughed. “Welcome to the snake pit. Watch out for hugs and biting – unless you’re into that sort of thing. Do _not_ tell taichou it was me who showed you this place.” He paused, and then added: “Have fun.”

And popped.

Iruka scowled in the direction where, he knew, the real _Dragonfly-san_ was watching and guarding, and then scaled down the wall, carefully navigating between traps.

About halfway down he met the eye of a snake, who was cleverly disguised as a part of a wrought iron grille covering a window.

He tried to smile. “I’d like to talk to Naruto?”

The snake blinked at him – and unsummoned itself.

x

“Did he seem okay?” asked a familiar voice just as a fellow ANBU landed on the roof next to Genma.

Not a _familiar ANBU_.

Genma was extremely proud of checking his reflexively homicidal reaction. “Fucking fuck, don’t do that, kid! You just shaved off three years of my already tragically short life!”

The boy next to him shrugged. And giggled.

He probably thought the fox mask was _funny_.

It wasn’t.

It was _unfunny_ thrice over.

Genma kind of wanted to punch him – or the mask itself – in the face. “You do know that impersonating an ANBU is a crime? And that there’ve been-”

“Fake ANBU?” Naruto spoke over him. “Like the ones we fought in Rivers? Like the ones that keep assassinating nii-chan?”

Genma sighed. Hard to miss that clusterfuck, huh? “I could have killed you.”

“Kage Bunshin,” Naruto reminded him.

He could shove the patronising tone where the sun didn’t shine, in Genma’s opinion.

“Besides, I announced myself, and you recognised me,” the boy added, with another shrug. Granted, he was so used to his clones dying in brutal and horrifying ways that Genma’s kunai stabbing through his eye probably wouldn’t have registered.

Genma suppressed a shudder. Kage Bunshin dying was still uncomfortable as hell. Occasionally even painful. Being as desensitised to it as Naruto actually qualified as trauma.

He sighed again. “Look, I’ll tell you the same we _all_ keep telling Iruka: the ANBU guard is supposed to be unnoticed. You – either of you – bringing attention to us makes our job harder. It makes us visible and it distracts us, and we need to concentrate-”

“Yeah, I get that,” Naruto cut him off. “And I don’t do this, usually. Just, Anko-nee’s down there with nii-chan; I’m there; Neji’s there; there’s s a bunch of nee-chan’s summons… and Gai-san lives in the building, too, so nobody short of, like, the Tsuchikage could even get to Iruka-nii right now.”

He had a point.

“Alright. Just don’t keep doing this.”

“I won’t,” Naruto promised. “Did he seem okay?” he repeated his initial question.

Genma shook his head. “Not even a little bit. Distracted, irritable, oppositional…”

“That’s not bad,” Naruto decided, because apparently he never had to _work_ with an Iruka _spoiling_ for a fight.

Genma scoffed.

Naruto crouched and settled his forearms on his knees, looking for a moment passably like an actual ANBU. Despite the appalling fucking choice of mask. “No, really. That’s like a hard day at the Academy, or like having to yell at three separate people handing in messed-up reports at the Missions Desk. That’s fine. It’s when he goes quiet and doesn’t respond to stuff that you’ve got to worry.”

Alright, Genma gave him that much. He didn’t actually know Iruka. Well, he knew him as the shouty chuunin at the Missions Desk – this sort of a funny figure that the jounin liked caricaturing and laughing about, and sometimes cursed because no matter how funny he seemed, he also never ever let himself be intimidated. Genma had liked him. Had had a lot of fun competing with Hayate and Aoba at recreating some of Iruka’s more memorable rants and expressions.

He inevitably lost, because Aoba was a savant, but they rarely got to laugh as much, so Genma remembered those competitions fondly.

He did know ‘little Umino’ a bit as – what he had presumed to be – Kakashi’s pet project, or just plain Kakashi’s pet. That assumption turned out to be way off-base, but Genma had known Kakashi when Kakashi was a kid, so he had to be forgiven for this misapprehension. Besides, turning up on a strange child’s doorstep a couple times a year with the news that Kakashi was dead (which invariably turned out to be untrue) hardly counted as an acquaintance.

Umino Iruka, the real person, though… Genma only began to get to know him when Raidou had him pulled and assigned to this mission, after his return from the Land of Rivers.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he told Naruto.

Umino Iruka had always been a little special – otherwise why would everybody have known him? – and Genma was morbidly curious about what it was that made Kakashi – _Kakashi_ , of all people – love him.

Naruto loved him, too.

Anko had adopted him as one of her closest friends.

And Raidou loved to hate him, which was _hilarious_ to watch.

Genma swallowed bile and took a couple of deep breaths. He was on shift now. Genma’s problems could wait until later; right now he had to be _Dragonfly_.

Anyway, it was clear as day that Umino Iruka was something really damn special.

“It won’t be long now,” Naruto said solemnly, out of blue.

Genma stared at him – or, rather, at the hateful fox mask, set so casually on top of Naruto’s illusionary forearm protectors. A pair of blue eyes looked at Genma through the eyeholes and, fuck, for a moment it was just like talking to Minato-sama.

“This mission,” Naruto clarified. “It won’t be long now until it’s over. Until Konoha’s safe enough again. I promise. Believe it!”

Genma opened his mouth to demand that Naruto tell him what he thought he knew-

But the clone dispelled itself before Genma managed to say a single word.

He viscerally wanted to go down to Anko’s apartment and squeeze Naruto until information poured out of him, but – just as Naruto had pointed out – Genma didn’t have that kind of power.

Moreover, he was still on shift.

He bit down on his senbon. Guarding Umino Iruka and stewing in his nerves it was.


	5. Out of the Bag

The chibi and the chewtoy obviously had a lot to talk about, so Anko was unsurprised when they left together as soon as Iruka finished the obligatory cup of tea (sometimes he was such a fucking picture-perfect housewife that Anko regretted he had missed his chance at being the Hokage’s Consort).

Neji-boy gave the shut door a totally woebegone look; Anko couldn’t stop herself from patting his shoulder.

He stoically endured it.

“I realise I’m the last person who should give anybody relationship advice,” she said, although in fact she had a suspicion that she knew a handful of people that were _worse_ at it than her, “but that boy won’t notice you unless you make him pay attention.”

Naruto could be (and already had been) a world of good for Neji. The other way around… ehh, she wasn’t so sure. But you couldn’t know these things until you saw them work out or crash and burn.

Look at _Inu-taichou_ and the doggy treat. Iruka could have done so much better. _So much fucking better_. But, the thing was, Anko was pretty sure that no one ‘better’ would have made Iruka feel half as alive.

That guy would fight the Shinigami himself for Kakashi. For Naruto, too.

What a fucking nutbag, but, oh fuck, she’d die for him in a hot second.

For Naruto, too.

“I…” Neji spoke softly once Anko was already pretty sure they would both pretend she had never said anything that hinted at his adorable little crush, “…am not yet certain what I want. I am…” His frown deepened. “Anko-sensei, I am certain of very little at the moment. There is too much I do not understand. I…”

Anko bit down on a coo. She wanted to cuddle him until the frown went away, until he stopped worrying about who he was and who he was supposed to be and what was the actual meaning of life.

Tragically, he wasn’t a cuddly type.

Another way he wouldn’t fit so well with Naruto – but, again, that logic was disproved by the empirical proof of Iruka’s and Kakashi’s epic romance.

“Spar?” she suggested instead of the cuddle.

Neji rose to his feet and nod-bowed, grateful like she was doing him a favour, when, really, there was little she ejoyed more than kicking his arse into awesomeness.

x

Iruka knew for a fact – knew it in his soul – that Kakashi’s Father had never hit him. Minato-sama – well, it was difficult to guess, but probably only within the context of sparring.

He stoically endured Naruto’s clinginess along the way to the apartment, and enjoyed his moment of reprieve as he brewed the tea while Naruto paced around the hall – ironically the same hall Iruka had paced in frustration just this morning.

The ramen they had bought at the Ichiraku’s stood on the table. Iruka’s mouth watered from the smell of it.

Naruto gave the bowls hungry looks each time he passed the door.

It was still so very odd to have an actual _guest_.

Iruka shook his head at himself and went back to his previous train of thought: Kakashi had never been a victim of domestic violence. This behaviour was learnt elsewhere. It made sense, though, once Iruka realised that for a significant part of his formative years Kakashi’s primary caretakers were his ninken, and for dogs casual violence was a natural part of body-language. He had forgotten, because within their relationship Kakashi had always taken the cues from Iruka, and Iruka would never raise a hand to him with intent.

But in the relationship between Kakashi and Naruto, there was no one to take cues from. They were both in the same boat – both part-canines by nurture and, honestly, it was quite possible that neither of them knew that this wasn’t okay.

It might even have genuinely _been_ okay for these two particular ninja, but without intervention Naruto was going to apply this learned behaviour in his relationships with other people, and that would be a disaster.

Naruto’s stomach growled.

Iruka giggled.

Naruto pouted at him from the doorway. “Can we eat yet? Please? Please, please? Please, please, plea-”

“Yes!” Iruka shouted in self-defence.

Naruto whooped, punched the air, and descended upon the nearest bowl with such enthusiasm that Iruka reflexively stepped away. He heard _Dragonfly-san’s_ soft curse from outside, but fortunately the ANBU trusted that Naruto wasn’t a threat.

Boar-san probably would have already barged in.

“Itadakimasu!” Naruto yelled while the first load of noodles was on the way to his mouth, and then he was momentarily too busy with food to say anything else.

Iruka finished the tea, moved it to the last free corner of the table, and sank into a chair opposite Naruto to grab a bowl of ramen for himself while there was still any left. The food kept disappearing down Naruto’s gullet at an alarming rate.

Perhaps five minutes later Naruto slurped the last noodle from his fourth bowl, stacked the empty dish up with the previous three, and gave a contemplative look to the last bowl left untouched.

Iruka planted his hand on top of it and glared over his chopsticks. Just because he ate at a normal-people speed didn’t mean he didn’t want his _seconds_.

Naruto puffed up his cheeks, but a moment later relented with a chuckle. He patted his stomach and sank lower in the chair.

Once Iruka was done with his first bowl and dove into the second one, Naruto asked: “You really thought I didn’t know about you and Kakashi-taichou?” His eyes were originally trained at the stack of empty bowls, but he transferred his look to Iruka when he sensed him staring.

Iruka swallowed the food in his mouth. “I didn’t… now I remember that you mentioned I had ‘a boyfriend’, but I didn’t think about it at the time, because Mizuki… I…”

His shoulders sank. Mizuki. How could Iruka have been so wrong about him? What was it he had missed? There must have been some indications of his treachery prior to that night, right? Was Iruka truly so gullible-?

And Tsubaki-san? Was she truly fooled, too, or was she party to making an idiot of Iruka? He was too scared of the answer to ask, and ended up cutting all contact with her instead.

It was too late to do anything about that now.

“Yeah, okay, I guess?” Naruto said, softly kicking at Iruka’s ankle. He apologetically grimaced, although he couldn’t have had any idea about what was going on inside Iruka’s head.

“ _How_ did you know?” Iruka asked instead, and determinedly lifted another wad of noodles into his mouth.

“I had a guard detail when I was little, did you know that?”

“Mhm.”

“Taichou was on it.”

“Hmmm.” Iruka nodded, chewing. He knew. Kakashi and Iruka had had a vicious row about it, after all. Another set of actions he was deeply ashamed of, in hindsight.

“It got called off when I started the Academy, but taichou kept coming by. I could tell. He was – kind of like my lying-animal-ninja protector, I guess?”

“Lying animal ninja?!” Iruka laughed.

Naruto shrugged. “No one had explained ANBU to me, nii-chan.” Of course not. Who would have? “So, I knew _Dog_ , way before I knew ‘Kakashi-sensei’. And when I met you at the Academy, I knew you were Dog’s. So I knew you were alright.”

Iruka swallowed another half-chewed mouthful. “…how?”

“I could smell him on you.”

“Oh.” Iruka blinked. All of sudden, the puzzle pieces fit together and a clear picture formed. A picture of Naruto far-too-well-informed, of Naruto walking around and stunning people – even people like Jiraiya-sama – with how much he knew. A picture of Naruto rolling his eyes and tapping his nose _like he had a secret_ every time he was asked ‘how’, already way back when.

Iruka had known for a while that Naruto’s sense of smell was excellent, but he had always imagined it was perhaps on par with Kakashi’s.

Not preternatural _and_ precocious.

Iruka wanted to hit his head against the table (but the ramen bowl was in the way). “Oh, shoot.”

Naruto laughed (likely at the derivative of a curse word Iruka used, but Iruka was _an Academy teacher_ ; he couldn’t get into the habit of cussing).

Iruka put down his chopsticks and buried his face in his hands. For twenty-three years he had been running around Konoha, capitalising on his enhanced hearing – and it had never occurred to him to guard himself against other enhanced senses.

He wouldn’t even know how to start.

“You really _always_ knew…”

Naruto nodded. “So I keep telling you. And I didn’t tell anyone who didn’t already know themselves-”

“Yes, Nishi-sensei would have had to be blind and deaf to miss it,” Iruka allowed. He could be subtle, but with Kakashi stranded at the Hospital and suffering from night terrors, there hadn’t been much space for subtlety.

“Sure, and when you were Hokage-ing together, you gave one of the guards a show that exploded the gossip all over the ANBU.”

Iruka groaned into his palms. He had figured out the part about the unwilling watcher… well, it would have been naïve to think that they might have kept it to themselves.

Anko must have busted a rib cackling. And Lynx-san… Boar-san… oh, kami-sama, _Genma-san_.

He groaned again, this time with even more feeling.

“Look, the Inari-damned cat is out of the bag,” Naruto implored. “You know what you gotta do.”

“What?”

“Stop acting embarrassed!” Naruto exclaimed. “Act like you won at life! ‘cause you did, didn’t you?”

Iruka mused on this assertion for a moment, and then smiled down at the naruto floating in his bowl. “…I suppose there isn’t much more I can hope for.” Now that he was teaching again, the only thing that he missed was his privacy un-invaded by a team of black-ops assassins.

“Look…” Naruto waved his hands like he was trying to scare away an annoying fly. “…ugh… talking ‘bout this is kinda icky, but he… you know.”

“What?” Iruka looked up.

“He… Dog-taichou… he’s…” Naruto seemed like he had a stomachache, but considering how much ramen Iruka had seen him put away in one sitting in the past without any digestive trouble, that couldn’t have been the case now.

“He’s _what_?”

Naruto breathed out loudly, braced himself, and pressed out: “He loves you. Like. A lot. A lot-lot.”

“Oh. Ah.” Well, Iruka _knew_ that. There was no reason to blush. Even hearing it stated so bluntly shouldn’t have made his heart race like this.

“Yeah. Let’s never talk ‘bout this again.” Naruto grimaced as if he had _smelled_ some very particular love-related things from Kakashi, and Iruka chose to cut off that train of thought right there, before they somehow conned themselves into a conversation neither of them wanted to have.

x

“Trade off!” Anko-sensei called out, and body-flickered out of the reach of Neji’s Palms-

Neji side-stepped, ducked and threw as many kunai as he could hold in one hand, which was at the moment seven. He could have gone for upwards of eleven shuriken, but Gai-sensei was falling on him feet-first, and the soles of his sandals would not have registered those.

Neji misused a bastardised version of Sixty-Four Palms for seeding the ground with paralysing tags, pulled out a handful of senbon – also coated in a paralysing agent, since Anko-sensei refused to let him use untreated ones even in a spar – and body-flickered to mid-distance.

He could use taijutsu against Anko-sensei – they were about matched, and Neji was still rapidly improving – but using it against Gai-sensei would have been a suicide.

Neji briefly – very briefly – thought of Naruto-san, who had been the one to teach him about the importance of strategy above pride, and then he focused fully on his training.

“Marvellous!” exclaimed Gai-san, kicking through the space where Neji’s head had been an instance earlier. “Excellent!” He neatly avoided all five senbon Neji flicked his way. He went as far as to pluck the last one from the air and send it back, so Neji had to dodge, and thus barely managed to avoid another kick.

His heart was beating madly.

But – as opposed to all his previous spars with Gai-sensei – this did not feel like a stretched-out, painful defeat. Like another lesson in humiliation.

Leaping away from a _hail_ of Gai-sensei’s fists, Neji felt his mouth quirking. This was almost okay. He thought, for a few seconds after Anko-sensei’s shout, that he would resent her for dropping him into this situation without warning.

She probably did not have much warning herself, it occurred to him while he was springing to avoid Gai-sensei’s grabbing hand _and_ his shining, ecstatic grin.

He paused, briefly, and Gai-sensei thought to use his hesitation to attack. He jumped-

-and in the last instance before he hit the ground, he substituted himself with a wooden log. The log fell square on top of a paralysing tag.

Neji felt another tug on the corner of his mouth as Gai-sensei leapt down from the canopy of a nearby tree. “Amazing! Neji-kun, your Wonderful Progress does your Teacher Proud!”

He appeared to be weeping.

Anko-sensei walked up to Neji’s side with narrowed eyes and Shikake-san hissing angrily from where she was wound around her ponytail. “Yeah, that’s fucking _it_. We’re ganging up on him.”

Neji lost another fight – the one against his smile.

x

Iruka hated to spoil the almost light-hearted atmosphere, but he wouldn’t have a better chance to broach the topic that made him hunt down Naruto today in the first place.

“You know Kakashi cares for you, too,” he said.

Naruto shrugged. “He’d gotta, to go to so much trouble for me. You know, the stalking when I was little, and then – Tsunade-ba-san said he _wanted_ me on his team for the Rivers mission, when I thought it was you pranking us both with that assignment.”

Iruka blinked, trying to parse all the odd bits in that statement.

‘Tsunade-ba-san’ spoken with the utter casualness of someone who used the title routinely. _Aunt Tsunade_. Well, it was _Naruto_ … but even for him that was ambitious.

‘Stalking’ must have referred to the illicit guarding Kakashi had done after the official mission was called off. Iruka let that go.

“Pranking…” Iruka rubbed at his scar. “I only facilitated the assignments for Sasuke and Sakura, and even then I tried to make the best out of a bad situation.” He had been looking forward to Asuma-san struggling with a complex emotional tension between recalcitrant teenagers, after he had been so judgmental of Kakashi’s difficulties. It never occurred to Iruka that instead of prolonged, exhausting tension there would be a single, disastrous explosion. “Kakashi picked you himself.”

Naruto bit on the insides of his cheeks, obviously unsure how he was supposed to react. He was pleased, clearly – but also bemused.

Iruka took a deep breath and said: “Kakashi hit you, last night.”

Naruto blinked at him, confused. “Er… not really? Not like… no…?”

Kakashi _attempted_ to hit him. Kakashi had told Iruka – confessed to him – that he had attacked Naruto. This wasn’t just in Iruka’s head.

“Yes, he did,” Iruka insisted. “And he’ll apologise-”

“When pigs fly!” Naruto cried, throwing up his hands. It wasn’t entirely unwarranted.

“-because I’m not going to-”

“Don’t!” Naruto barked.

Iruka froze. It wasn’t a literal bark, but it resembled one enough to give him a pause – and then there was the way Naruto had moved. Shoulders hunched, feet up on the seat of the chair, hands down under the table, close to his ankles. Body taut, prepared to spring.

Naruto narrowed his eyes, shook his head. “Don’t,” he repeated. “ _Nothing_ happened, and you can’t _punish_ him for _nothing_ -”

“It’s not _nothing_ ,” Iruka said sadly. “We’re family, we care for each other. None of us is allowed to-”

“No!” Naruto protested. “I know people who love you aren’t supposed to hit you!” Slowly, thoughtfully, he uncoiled and put his feet on the floor again. “Kana-san explained it to me.”

Oh, thank kami-sama for Kana-san, and Ya-san, and Pakkun… and the entire Pack.

“But,” Naruto continued, frowning, “I’m not sure how that works in sparring. It’s gotta be okay when you’re sparring, right? Otherwise how do you learn?”

Iruka had, of course, taken this into account, but last night could not in any way be framed as training. “Yes, Naruto. It’s okay in sparring. But even in sparring it’s never the aim to injure or cause pain-”

“Sometimes pain’s kinda educational, nii-chan!” Naruto insisted. “And I heal real quick-”

“Don’t. Naruto, just don’t say that. That doesn’t make it okay-”

“I just said I know it’s not okay!” Naruto hopped off the chair, waved his hands and looked at Iruka with a pained grimace like Iruka just _wasn’t getting it_ , when in fact it was Naruto who just _wasn’t getting it_. “But it’s not a problem. And it’s definitely worth it to have a family at all. Even if they hit.”

Oh, hell, _no_. “What Kakashi did wasn’t okay.”

Naruto puffed up his cheeks. Then he deflated. And then, _then_ he drew himself tall and looked at Iruka so solemnly that it was suddenly impossible to see him as a child. “That’s up to me to decide, nii-chan. And I decided. Besides, this can’t be news to you, but Kakashi is kinda cracked. Uh, like, if a person is a pot full of thoughts and feelings, he’s all lopsided and leaky. And you patched him up pretty good, so it doesn’t show too much, but the crack’s still there, you just can’t see it.”

“Yes,” Iruka breathed. He knew. Of course he knew. “Yes, Naruto, I know.”

“So,” Naruto shrugged, and smiled softly, like someone who had actually seen enough of the world that he could be genuinely wise, “that means that sometimes we gotta try to understand and forgive him when he messes up. ‘cause we love him, and he loves us, and we’re a family.”

Iruka felt his breath catch.

Naruto’s childish expression of annoyance came back. “Are you crying again, nii-chan?” He sighed. “If you keep crying all the time when you’re with me, he’s going to think I’m hurting you and come after me again.”

“I’m not crying,” Iruka protested.

He did sound a little sniffly, but there weren’t any actual tears, so Naruto magnanimously let it go.

Iruka sipped his tea.

So did Naruto.

For about a half a minute.

Then Naruto succumbed to the pressure of the silence and reached for a pouch on his chuunin vest. “Wanna see something cute and funny?”

“Absolutely!” Iruka agreed. There was little he wanted more at this particular moment.

Naruto grinned, pulled an object out of the pouch, and set it onto the table in front of Iruka.

It was a photo of Pakkun sleeping, belly-up, legs stretched out every which way, inside the overturned Hokage Hat.

Iruka snorted.

Naruto grinned. “That’s the first one we took. I couldn’t resist. And then it sorta became a thing. Like, they all wanted one.”

The second picture was of Bisuke, sitting regally in the same spot that Pakkun had previously occupied. Pakkun could be seen in the background, a little blurry, and glaring at Bisuke who had probably woken him up – possibly by tipping him out of the Hat.

The third picture featured Buru wearing the Hat and solemnly looking over the Hokage’s desk.

Iruka folded in a laughing fit. This was the funniest thing he had seen in weeks. This was – fantastic. And so _cute_.

“Godaime-sama Buru,” Naruto said in an almost convincing serious tone.

Iruka wiped tears out of his eyes. “I need these framed… when did you take this?”

“Remember that time you were organising the release of the Suna prisoners?”

There had been a lot of Suna shinobi in Konoha, considering that it was a month until the finals of the Chuunin Exams. A lot more yet were expected as audience for the tournament, but all told about fifty Sand shinobi had been detained during the second stage, which was _ridiculous_ , considering that Suna had only entered three teams, and of those one had failed during the first stage.

Most of the detainees had been on separate assignments – lot of them unaware of the plans for invasion. Their release was conditional, and they had been disarmed, but no one wanted to leave anything to chance, so their departure was to be overseen by _a lot_ of guards.

Kakashi had had his hunt on standby in his office, ready to be deployed after the last Sand ninja left Konoha. As expected, it took a couple of hours to organise everything, and the ninken must have gotten bored.

“This is fantastic, Naruto!” Iruka praised through chuckles over the photo of Urushi, Uuhei and Shiba carrying the Hokage Hat on their backs, with Akino standing poised on top of it, sunglasses on and one paw regally stretched out to the camera.

“Don’t have one with taichou himself,” Naruto said regretfully. “Couldn’t manage to get the Hat anywhere near enough to him.”

Yes, Kakashi was somewhat allergic to any and all Hokageship-related paraphernalia.

Iruka himself perhaps, slightly, regretted not having a photo like this. He probably wouldn’t have dared put the Hat on his head, but just holding it, or pretending to play tug-of-war with Guruko for it – that could have been hilarious.

Sadly, Iruka must have looked like he needed to be comforted, so Naruto went for it. He rounded the table and hugged Iruka as best as he could around the backrest of the chair.

“Sorreeee…”

Iruka smiled – a little pained – and awkwardly patted Naruto’s head, which wasn’t made easy by both his upper arms being trapped. Naruto grumbled something inarticulate and rubbed his face against Iruka’s shoulder.

About this time Iruka’s skin started to crawl.

He clenched his teeth, sat still, and tried to think of something else. Anything else. Anything that would distract him… Yes, right, the empty bowls. He’d pack the trash for Naruto to take out when he left. But Iruka would eat the rest of his second bowl, even though the ramen was cold by now. Maybe he should heat it up-?

At last Naruto finally removed himself from Iruka.

Iruka smiled with relief.

Naruto rolled his eyes at him. “You could have said something, you know? I’m not going to hang all over you if it feels bad.”

“How do you know these things?” Iruka groused.

Naruto looked at him like he thought Iruka was _slow_. Then he tapped his nose, and with his hands in his pockets walked away. Before Iruka could ask him to take out the trash.

Iruka sighed and looked down and the scattered pile of the funniest photos imaginable. “…that was a rhetorical question.”

x

The sun sank behind the treetops, birds sang like it was their last chance this season, and the din of village life outside briefly rose before it would quieten again.

Naruto stretched out on his bed and closed his eyes.

It was a little odd to be alone. Senbon guy would probably come by at some point, because Naruto had baited him, and now Naruto had to pick how much he would tell him. How much he would trust him.

Genma, huh. Genma, Naruto’s Dad’s student and subordinate, who still looked at Naruto and saw somebody else sometimes. It was okay – Genma _made sense_ – but Naruto wasn’t sure how much of senbon guy’s friendship was toward Naruto himself, and how much was extended to the ghost of the Yondaime.

It made things difficult.

A crow cawed somewhere near.

With a huff Naruto pulled himself up and off the bed. He ambled over to the window and opened it.

The crow landed on his sill a moment later. It glared at the potted plant, the leaf of which had smacked it on the head, and then hopped closer.

“Sorry, I know it’s been a couple days,” Naruto tried to explain, “but the Kage Bunshin that read the letter only popped earlier today when I was with Iruka-nii. I hadn’t had a chance to think about it! Of course I’ll do it, but- give me second!” He walked around the room, picking a pen from the top of the desk and ripping a page out of his seal-practice notebook. “I can’t just leave the village, and taichou’s been requisitioned to support ANBU while they’re trying to deal with the fakes, so my team won’t get a mission. Ba-san’s keeping me loosely assigned to this in-village recovery effort-” He didn’t want to talk about Gaara, even though Natsuko-san probably already knew about him. “-so I’ll need to be pulled in specifically. You know, like they did it back before Sasuke left?”

He thought the crow probably wouldn’t know – summons usually didn’t have access to all the details of their summoner’s life.

The crow cawed to make him sit down and write already instead of just talking.

“Yeah, yeah…” Naruto grumbled. He couldn’t sit and think, and he wasn’t so good at moving and writing at the same time, so he needed to think it all through first, and _then_ write it down once he knew what he wanted to say. “So, what I think we should do is have Natsuko-san tell Jiraiya who’ll tell Tsunade-ba-san that… I dunno… she’ll probably know better what to tell him. Something that will convince ba-san to send me out. But _of course_ I’ll go talk to her.”

The crow knocked on the windowsill with its beak.

Naruto dropped down to sit lotus-style, put his ripped-out page on top of his notebook, stuck his tongue between his teeth and began to write.


	6. Photos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think someone asked for this? In any case, while I'm procrastinating on the next story in the series, have a picture.

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: implied sexual situations, referenced domestic violence, referenced character death, grief, PTSD, unreliable narrators


End file.
